Tuesday, October 6, 2009 @9:57 AM
It's official, I'm losing it.
This feeling, ever so familiar, is the last thing I want to feel right now. It always happen so suddenly. One day, boom, everything falls apart, and then nothing in within my control. Of all the days, it must happen to me right now.
I will start all over again. I will start to hate everyone, I will start to feel that agonizing pain, I will start to wake up harder, I will start to stop smiling. I never knew it will catch up with me again, it has been almost a year. It's just that right now, there's nothing much to look forward to.
Why should I even bother in the first place? I knew it would happen, but no, I had to be the impulsive fuck like always. I shouldn't have cared, because no one else did. I wasn't obliged to to begin with. Maybe if someone else did it I wouldn't have said so much. It is still officially mine, because no one has given me their part. It's still not shared, it's still mine, yes, MINE! SO don't say these kind of things when you have no right yet.
Sometimes, you should just slap yourself once and look around you, all our faces. If you want us to stay, you should seriously consider a change in attitude. I am not a fucking robot, cos I have feelings, feelings that are not all great right now. Just because I don't lose my temper often doesn't mean I don't have an angry side. It's all bottled up right now and I am sure it will all erupt any time soon.
Labels: Fuck, why was I so dumb?
