The Sequel

2010-04-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is the last post here, just saying that I decided to stop blogging here cos obviously it's so difficult to post politically incorrect shit here. I'll still have my creative outlet in another blog, but this time it's private.

Goodbye!

2010-03-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so hello again, I am currently in my living room with a bottle of Sprite and absolutely nothing to do.

I just stopped working yesterday. Over a span of 6 days, I worked for 4 days, and that was how long it took me to quit it. Most of the time, it is the people that have me quitting jobs. Stingy bosses, naggy managers, evil managers who aren't even my manager, you know. For this time round, I can't seem to pinpoint what made me hate this job. A little bit of everything I guess. the people are generally nice, cept when I make a mistake or some shit. They can get quite naggy. My breaks are spent alone, I don't have any friends there, and my breaks are always different from everyone. The job is tiring and evil. Cashiers have to pay for shortages every day. I almost lost $50, luckily it was retraced. That was definitely a shock for me. A big scare, and it was only my third day at work. Anal customers I can handle, I just need to scan their stuff as quick as possible and they are out of my lives forever. What I can't stand it when I have problems and the other staff don't even lend me a hand. I can't help being noob shit at being a cashier, I only did for like three days?

I was planning to continue for another 2 weeks, at least get the bonus. On the last day I worked, I woke up at 4 am in the morning to pee, and I just couldn't seem to fall back asleep. Countless thoughts filled my mind, about work and shit. That overwhelming uncertainty was so daunting it kept me awake till 7.45am, the time I was supposed to wake up. I couldn't sleep, like sudden insomnia or something. During the 3 hours and 45 minutes, I reduced my duration of work. From 3 more weeks, I changed my mind to 2 more weeks, to 1 day.

I wanted to stop dreading something, especially something I brought upon myself. And the one solution to it all was just to end it. That simple. I guess the cash and bonus was not worth the depressing over. Besides, I wanted to make friends there but I just ended up getting shit. Whatever, hopefully that part of my life doesn't come back to haunt me. I hate it that I'm cursed with hating my jobs. So far, I have hated all my jobs. I thought this job will be better, but no, it's prolly one of the worst ones.

Enough with crappy evil jobs. So I got my results. For .2 semester, I'm really unsatisfied with my results. While other people are jumping with joy with their 3.6 GPAs, I'm stuck at 3.2, and I really did put in effort this semester. I still remember squeezing my literally dead brain on stifling nights to come up with a good story for storytelling, but I'm not complaining about that cos my storytelling score was alright. I'm surprised at my IS score though. I guess I actually did something right in Cindy's eyes. But but, the most aggravating part of it all is the fucking C+ for photography. I swear to god my photography lecturer hates me. I spent so much cash on film and developing film, traveling out of civilization to filthy places just to take a few shots of interesting subjects. All of that for a C+? Seriously, I commented like twice, they shouldn't let just one person be the judge of our photos. At least one more or something, to make things a bit more impartial. Just because I am not a cat/grass/water-droplets-on-leaves fetish doesn't mean I'm terrible. It's like so subjective, it seems almost too unfair. Just sayin'.

Ya, so if I can only get a 3.2 GPA for the easiest semester, I really wonder what my grades will pan out in the future.

Anyway, I'm only blogging here cos I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. This blog is absolutely dead and I am really consider deleting it. Well, we shall see. This blog is so public I can't say what I really feel and show who I really am. Ya, it pretty much sums up why I don't blog here anymore.

2010-03-10T07:52:00.000-08:00

Okay so I may have more than a pair of plimsolls but what I hate about my bunch of accessories is that I never owned a pair of decent shades in my life, ever. Like I'm not really picky with my shades, I rather just a pair of cheap $10 shades from Cotton On that comes in different colours too. I tried to get a pair before when CO had a sale. But my parents hates the shades and refuses to get me a pair. I mean, they have shades, don't know why they don't like the idea of me having a pair myself.

But finding a pair for me is a little difficult cos I have a gigantic skull and all the ones I have tried before kinda squeezes my head. So I've been looking at some sites now and like shutter shades are in now. I'm not a trendy person, I don't normally like to follow trends. I just buy what I visually appeals to me, and shutter shades look really nice!

There are quite a variety of shapes. I like trons.

Future future future perfect!

Okay so holiday life has been like super shitty for me. Spent half of the first month mourning, and the other half on slacking and binging and failed attempts at getting jobs. I seriously hate the idea of resumes.

I'm looking forward to Imogen Heap LIVE though. It is sort of the only thing I can look forward to.

2010-03-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hello. I know I know, I haven't updated in like damn damn damn long.

I'm gonna be short. I'm like fine now, so that's a good thing. I made a promise that my ultimate life goal will be to meet Kris face to face. It's naive, but at least I have something to live for. So right now, what I can do is to be as nice as possible to build up on good karma. Yes, I'm trying really hard to be nice.

Anyway, the WEATHER IS FUCKING HOT! OH MY GOSH! DAMN DAMN WARM! I walk out of the bathroom and I start perspiring like shit. Wah, really cannot take it. In times like this, the air-conditioner is by far the best invention ever.

I haven't been blogging here cos Tumblr is like the new thing now and it is so much more convenient than Blogger. I don't really need to post anything at all.

So ya, I may close this down, we'll see.

2010-02-13T01:35:00.000-08:00

I'm having the terrible post-concert depression syndrome. Google it up.

I won't be blogging until I feel normal again. My life is so full of shiz now, ugh I want to kill everyone.

Goodbye.

2010-01-26T06:35:00.000-08:00

Ya so this past two days I have been on the highest high and the lowest low, and now I'm so grateful and contented with my life right now I can't stop being thankful for everything that has happened in my life.

Yesterday, I had IS lessons and Lena and I decided to give it a miss since we have not used any of our coupons yet. So I happily slept until 9am before I had to go to school for a meeting for the last IS assignment. I was still very lethargic despite longer sleep so I was around an hour late for the meeting. Thank god my groupmates were nice and they didn't mind, maybe cos I was half an hour early for our first meeting. So we went to the atrium to discuss our presentation and I saw many familiar faces.

The meeting ended an hour or so later and I went home alone. On my trip back home, Azzy messaged me to say that KRIS ALLEN(!) is coming to Singapore for a one night gig at Zirca, which is a fucking nightclub. Fingers crossed, I rushed back home to check the minimum age limit for entry. Searched some forums, called the enquiries hotline, and my hopes were literally crushed, torn apart, bashed, nuclear bombed. They said the minimum age was 18. I know, I can just get a fake ID and enter the club. And I don't even like the idea of clubbing and dancing with other people who think they are hot when they are so not. But I'm like turning 18 this November, it's kinda stupid to spend 50 bucks on something I will throw away in less than a year. And not only that, I still have to buy the ticket in, which is $99. It's going to make me fucking bankrupt. So, no point risking so much and spending so much. It's KRIS ALLEN(!), but I'm not that obsessed, yet.

Giving up my hopes and dreams, I felt like fucking shit the whole day yesterday. Felt like crying my heart out, stab myself ten times, and jump into a pot of hot oil and feed myself to a wild boar. But I got a little better after a good night's sleep. Since I can't go, the best I can do is pray KRIS ALLEN(!) keeps alive for another gig in Asia.

Woke up this morning and felt like having good karma so that a miracle might happen. Woke up an hour earlier than I should and went to Ang Mo Kio and got Koi for the two other crazy bitches. Their expression when I took out the bubble tea was damn funny. It was like the theatre was filled with low whispers of "Oh my god!", almost like humming. Ya so after school, I came home and stayed at the living room, being a couch potato as usual. Then I turned on the television. Just when I thought I was recovering from my depression, there was an advertisement about KRIS ALLEN(!) coming for a gig here. At first, it was like taking a bullet, a cold hard fucking bullet. Then I went to see the details, since it can't get any more painful already. Then right there, the minimum age limit: 16. Time literally froze. Church bells started ringing and a gospel choir singing. Birds were chirping. Rainbows appeared above me. Everything became so colourful all of a sudden. I was FUCKING HAPPY. It was the feeling I got when the people from Ngee Ann called me, it was a fucking awesome feeling.

Even though Rachel recorded my call I don't fucking care if it gets on Youtube cos I am just so fucking happy. So fucking excited now. And I am so fucking thankful for everything right now. My life is fucking complete at this moment.

I am so fucking happy!

2010-01-08T08:54:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone.

Today has been such a stressful day, and everything was pretty much going the wrong way. Like how I woke up in the morning only to find my phone with only one bar. And then I charged it but when I came out of the shower it was not charging at all despite it being plugged in. Then Lena and I reached school at 9am only to find 4 people present in total. Could have slept for an hour more or something. But besides all the very agitating trivial matters, it was good stress cos obviously this is just one day of actual working stress. It's going to be 30 years of these kind of days in future.

My morning shift for FMS Open House was actually quite alright. It was relatively quiet, and like I toured a maximum of 10 people. My first tour had 2 people. And I did a total of 3 tours. Like there was this girl in my last group who told me to relax cos they knew how stressed I was. It was a nice experience nonetheless.

Also met Primero Ang today. Oh my gosh, the most fucked up thing happened just when the most important meeting of my semester 1.2 life was going to happen. Like right after class finished, my phone fucked up and it couldn't access to network throughout the whole time I tried to call everyone. Then like good thing Chingy was online and like she helped me call Sasha. Anyway, the meeting went smoothly. What a fucking relief!

Now, I'm like totally drained from hours of hyperventilating + panic attacks + touring + banging my phone on the table + tweeting about my heart attacks. Went to Kang Kar Mall for dinner just now and I got totally turned off by the noodle store person. He was a stand in for like the main cook and he was fucking rude. Like he was hard of hearing or didn't clean his ears and like I had to shout to him YES I WANT CHILLI. And then like I wanted a bigger bowl of soup and he fucking didn't let me! WTF. What kind of service is that? The customer should be allowed to have what they order, even if it takes more cash or something. Ugh, so annoying. The next time he works there, I am so not eating there.

Okay, I know my blog is like lacking photos, but I hate uploading photos. Anyway, I might change to Tumblr. So much easier to use. And it works the Twitter way.

Till next time!

2009-12-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to like blog 3 hours ago but I fell asleep.

Anyway, I think it is mandatory to blog about 2009 and shit. I don't know why, but every year always sucks one way or another. 2009 was no different, making new friends, making new enemies, losing friends, making some more enemies. I want to make it short, cos I'm seriously tired.

My blog has been like totally boring this year. I didn't do anything to it, cos I really don't have the time and energy to.

Out of all my years as a teenager, I have to say 2009 is the best already. It is the year with the least fights, the least quarrels, the least number of friends lost. Ya.

Okay, so my new year resolutions are:

1) Save up and get rich.

2) Get at least 3.8 for my GPA.

3) Make more time for the Nuts.

4) Buy more cameras.

See you next year!

2009-12-24T12:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Merry Christmas to all, though I am not in a very merry mood right now.

I feel so sucky now for not heading out to have fun. Maybe I have no one to go out with, and I don't feel like going to town alone. Can't blame anyone, cos everyone else got other plans. And what sucks even more is that I am going to stay all day at home for Christmas. It's just me and my iTunes.

Obviously I am not going to do my homework. Who fucking does their work on a holiday? Anyway, I am just looking forward to saving up money for an Eximus camera.

Isolated from the outside world, I really feel like a prisoner at home. Ugh, I am just in a foul mood now.

I miss Azmyra and the Nuts so much.

2009-12-23T04:07:00.001-08:00

Christmas Eve, and I am here blogging. I am such a loser. While everyone is out and about, I'm stuck at home with nothing to do cos no one wants to go out with me.

Anyway, I just got my camera! His name is Oberon. Isn't he cute!?

My very own Holga camera! I got the package, which includes the fisheye lens and multi-color flash.

Ever since I got the camera, I have been in a mood to buy a lot of nice cameras. And no, the DSLR is not included. I can't stand people with DSLRs when they are not

even in FSV. So

annoying! Possessing a DSLR doesn't make you look professional, only pretentious.

Okay, so the first on my list is the Eximus camera! It looks so cool!

And it's only $52!

Next on the list is the Golden Half Camera.

Then there is the Black Bird, Fly.

And the Disderi camera.

Last but not least, the Panaorama camera.

Okay, I hate posting photos on Blogger. Bye!

2009-12-15T11:41:00.001-08:00

After tomorrow, I will be free for two weeks. Yes, awesome. I need a break, like seriously. Been feeling shitty, tired, and temperamental for this whole semester, mainly because of people. I have a rather prickly disposition lately, being defensive and shit. Think of it as a semester long period.

So far, my precious PS2 has been sent for repairs 3 times, and so far, it has came back unfixed. This is like fucking terrible, because my holiday is starting two days and I am so not going to waste any gaming time at all. The PSP and Gameboy just isn't complete. Oh yes, speaking of gaming, I have started on a Plants vs. Zombies rampage. I have totally abandoned everything, including my iTunes. It's quite sad actually.

Okay, it's getting late. I have a lot more things to say. Before I go, I just need to say that people have to stop saying that. It's motherfucking annoying, and that is just an understatement. Fuck everything.

2009-12-08T06:57:00.001-08:00

I think this blog is going to become a dead blog soon. Oh wait, it already is.

All the dreaded assignments are finally gotten over with. Now left with the dreaded tests. School life recently has been a bitch. I'm getting more and more lethargic each day. My podcast was presented today, and it is FUCKING embarrassing. Oh my gosh, my social life would be ruined if it ever goes out to everyone. However, I'm like really bummed out by the recent photography assignment. I really think my photos will be rated zero stars; the grading is very anal! I need to step it up for the next assignment. I'm going to like bring out everything to the table. Holga, Ektachrome, everything I can think of! I don't deserve a lousy score with my dedication to this assignment.

This Friday we will be going to Somerset's Uniqlo. I need to shop goddamn it! Going to get that really neat jacket and a parka. $10 only for a parka! Calling all Jews! Plus, I'm in the mood for sushi. I need some Japanese pampering.

Today is the first time since I stepped into Ngee Ann Poly where I didn't buy lunch at all. I brought bread. Hehe. I'm quite proud of myself, cos during that torturous hour at Makan Place, seeing all the plates of chicken rice and SVMs passing by, I was practically having cold turkey. I need to save up for this Friday! Must. And for next week, I must save up for Azzy's polaroid! Oh my gosh, I never knew that polaroid photo paper was so fucking expensive.

I'm in the mood for some drinking, but with new people. Maybe, in three years time or something, the Nuts will be drinking together. That would be awesome, drinking with awesome people. That's a real drinking session in my opinion.

Okay, I have storytelling test tomorrow and I have a STUPRO skill test and INTFLM quiz on Thursday. Yes, life will suck for two more days. Think holidays!

2009-12-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

My best photo from this time's photo assignment. Blur motion. Really proud of this photo.

School has been a bitch to me lately. I'm not getting enough sleep, and I don't have the time and energy to gym anymore.

Till the holidays, fuck my fucked up life.

2009-11-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

My birthday present from the gang! YAAAAY! Thanks!

I must help Kris Allen climb up the charts. People come on! Every iTunes download counts! Even better if you bought the album itself! Come on!

I know I have been abandoning this blog for ages. I have like so many more blogs to manage, I just don't have the time.

Okay, Kris Allen down. Little Boots and La Roux!

My photos have come out! They are overall good. Some underexposed. Very contented.

My heart is rushing now.

2009-11-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

We Rule The World - Dragonette

You wanna move it
Shake like in the movies
Gotta use it
Huff that kind of stuff that makes you stupid
Call in the professionals to get it right
And if they hate us
Maybe hair and make up
Gonna save us
Blow it out and catch us looking famous
Then show you how to keep it up all night

We’re not the ones with the big guns
Some kind of shiny secret weapons
But let’s pretend that we rule the world
We’ve got the superhero costumes
Know how to change our clothes in a phone booth
So let’s pretend that we, we rule the world

We got the know-how
Kick up the kind of stink you're hearing about
Give us a kiss and then we punch your lights out
I'll eat a fist, I'm hungry for a fight
It takes an army, looking good and booking it
We’re ready
A little muscle, little cuddle, little lady
Listen don't be chicken, pick a side

We’re not the ones with the big guns
Some kind of shiny secret weapons
But let’s pretend that we rule the world
We’ve got the superhero costumes
Know how to change our clothes in a phone booth
So let’s pretend that we, we rule the world

There's more than muscle that a fighter is made of
There's got to be some cha cha ching and g-g-glitter
We're gonna see some ba-da boom before we finish
We get knocked down, we get back up in a minute

There's more than muscle that a fighter is made of
There's got to be some cha cha ching and g-g-glitter
We're gonna see some ba-da boom before we finish
We get knocked down, we get back up in a minute
We’ve got that fast action edit

No we’re not the ones with the big guns
Some kind of shiny secret weapons
But let’s pretend that we rule the world
We’ve got the superhero costumes
Know how to change our clothes in a phone booth
So let’s pretend that we, we rule the world

2009-11-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

Wishlist

Fashion:

1) Topman Black/White Check Plimsolls

2) Topman Grey Denim Plimsolls

3) Topman Dark Grey Plimsolls

4) Topman Red Check Zip Hoody

5) Topman Silver Metallic Bow Tie

6) Topman White Striped Bow Tie

7) Topman Black Reversible Check Tie

8) Topman Blue Check Wing Collar Shirt

9) Topman Black and White Check Hoody

10) Topman Upper Matter Blazer

11) Topman Upper No. 6 Style Blazer

12) Topman Grey Super Oversized Beanie

13) Topman White Pinstripe Trilby Hat

14) Topman Black Bowler Hat

15) Topman Black Classic Style Sunglasses

16) Topman Sandblast Spinner Ring

17) Topman Yellow Check Fold Wallet

Gastronomy:

1) IKEA Food Court

2) Fish & Co.

3) Marche

4) Sushi Tei

5) MOF

6) KOI

7) Sizzler

8) Swenson's

9) Pariss

10) Sakura

11) ION Takoyaki (Good balls!)

Music

1) Little Boots - Hands

2) La Roux - La Roux

3) Kris Allen - Kris Allen

4) Dragonette - Galore

5) Lily Allen - Alright, Still

6) Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster

7) Gossip - Music For Men

8) Imogen Heap - Ellipse

Gadgets

1) Holga 135BC + Fisheye Lens + Multicolor Flash

2) Polaroid (Any!)

3) Glow in the Dark Diana

4) DSLR (Any!)

5) SLR (Any!)

6) Lomocamera (Any!)

7) Tenori-on

8) iPhone

Others (Most unlikely)

1) Red hair

2) Blue hair

3) Blonde hair

4) Ear piercing

5) Tattoo

6) Nail polish(Black, white, green, blue, yellow, purple)

7) Yacht

8) Private jet

My birthday wishlist is up! Yes it is essential when it comes to buying my present. And I'm not asking. Tata!

2009-10-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

My parents told me to stop spending money for the next 2 years so that their lives are easier, and they expect me to be alright with it.

Fine, they probably think it's alright to not spend on anything at all because they grew up like that, but they forget that was 300000 B.C. Back then, canteen food was 10 cents a meal. Now, school food costs at least $3. Clothes back then were made of leaves and are free. Clothes now are at least $20, and it's already bad enough I don't have any branded clothes. Back then, their weren't buffets and steamboats because they never went out of their kampongs. Now there is good food everywhere.

Let's say I was poor and I had a child(obviously not in a million years) and let's say he wanted 2 pairs of shades that costed $20. At least I wouldn't say it's ugly and that it was inproportionate to my body. And who am I to say it's ugly? I'm too old for that generation anyway. Yes I'm too fucking old to understand fashion and clothes. I would still think magnifying glasses are cool.

I'm getting the Starhub job to support my needs and wants. When your parents told you you cannot rely on anyone, they meant themselves included.

2009-10-25T00:56:00.000-07:00

I just went to the usual hair salon to butcher my hair.

My hair now is like so short, my fringe isn't affected by gravity at all. But it isn't a total tragedy. I just bought a bottle of very expensive($17) gel and I can test out my hair messing skills, and I can put my fedoras to good use. On top of that, no more oily fringes at the end of the day. My hair feels lighter, more wind in my face, more inspiration. Azmyra's bimbo theory is not 100% bimbotic!

I know I have been on hiatus for quite some time. It's not that I'm abandoning this blog. It's just that I have so much things to do, I don't have the time and energy to blog. Plus, I have a total of 3 blogs to manage, so it's rather taxing.

I have decided that I will work at the start of November. I still haven't gotten used to the new school schedule, which is a bitch to an anti-morning person. Two consecutive 9am days is a bitch! Adapting to T1B1 is diffcult too, cos I'm too used to T1A2's company. I still can't believe Azmyra is in another class.

Rachel and Azmyra spread their camera-obsessing bug to me. I will get a Holga camera soooooooooon. My birthday in 3 weeks time. Get the hint!

If you have been talking to me recently, you will realize that I caught the "DIUDE" bug. All Azmyra's fault. Chhhhheh.

Gonna go do something totally dull right now. Tata!

2009-10-24T03:01:00.000-07:00

Another kick awesome MV! Who'd Have Known by Lily Allen.

Love love love!

2009-10-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

So a glass panel happened smashed onto my PS2 and my memory card.

It's not just about the cost to repair it. It's the 5 years of memories I had with it and effort I took to save $200 back in Sec. 2 when I had $2 allowance a day.

Everyone might think it is no one's fault, but that's not the case. If someone sent the TV in my room for repair, I wouldn't have to move it to the other room. If someone was thoughtful enough to not hog the big screen TV in the living room and allow me to move there, the glass panel wouldn't have fall onto my PS2.

And everyone thinks that saying, "What do you want me to do?" will get the problem off your shoulders, it will not. I don't fucking care how people do it, or how much it will cost, I just want my playtime back. All 5 years worth of it. Build a time machine, I don't care. Hire a rocket scientist, I don't care. If no one touched it, nothing would have happened. So there.

It sucks how bad thing happen to at this time, of all times. I'm starting school tomorrow, and all I can think about right now is my PS2. Yes, the whole world offended me.

2009-10-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm back from the Chalet Wannaweep.

I won't say the chalet was a total disaster, for me at least, cos I did learn a very very important lesson from this horrendous experience: Don't let selfish fucks get to you, cos they ain't worth it. I'm not about to go on another rant this time, cos I'm just too drained from all the anger and frustration. Besides that, I now know who my true friends are, because they don't try to hurt me intentionally and leave me bleeding, pennilessly.

What matters most now are those friends, because they don't make me dig my own grave. They aren't the types that invite people(who leave while everyone is sleeping to avoid paying up) to chalets without permission and wake people up by singing at the top of their lungs 5am in the morning and refuse to pay their share of the accommodation cost. No, they are not. Oh wait, they also do not take their time to shower in the morning when they know very well we are late for check-out. No, they don't. These are the people who care about my feelings. Yes.

Okay, time for my personal evaluation on this time's chalet. Compared to the last one, which was really a class chalet where invited people are actually from this actual class in this actual course, this one didn't seem to have the same feeling. Can't put my finger on it though. Maybe it is this guy with a gag-inducing belly who keeps walking thinking people actually care about him, I don't know. Anyway, this chalet just felt more tense than the other one. Hmmm, I'm not sure why either. Oh maybe there was this guy who is the type that invite people(who leave while everyone is sleeping to avoid paying up) to chalets without permission and wake people up by singing at the top of their lungs 5am in the morning and refuse to pay their share of the accommodation cost. Maybe that's why, yes. And the drinking. The last chalet had a happy drinking session. But this time round, I just felt more of a sad drinker than a happy one. Hmmm, I don't know why either, maybe there were people who invite people(who leave while everyone is sleeping to avoid paying up) to chalets without permission and wake people up by singing at the top of their lungs 5am in the morning and refuse to pay their share of the accommodation cost. Yes, that's right. But the chalet is larger and has a proper kitchen with more beds. So, I conclude that the overall grade for this chalet is: -1000000000000000/10. Not bad, not bad at all.

I'm getting tired, I didn't get enough sleep. Some people woke me up 5am in the morning singing at the top of their voices and they thought it was funny. Well, THEY FUCKING THOUGHT WRONG!

2009-10-06T09:57:00.001-07:00

It's official, I'm losing it.

This feeling, ever so familiar, is the last thing I want to feel right now. It always happen so suddenly. One day, boom, everything falls apart, and then nothing in within my control. Of all the days, it must happen to me right now.

I will start all over again. I will start to hate everyone, I will start to feel that agonizing pain, I will start to wake up harder, I will start to stop smiling. I never knew it will catch up with me again, it has been almost a year. It's just that right now, there's nothing much to look forward to.

Why should I even bother in the first place? I knew it would happen, but no, I had to be the impulsive fuck like always. I shouldn't have cared, because no one else did. I wasn't obliged to to begin with. Maybe if someone else did it I wouldn't have said so much. It is still officially mine, because no one has given me their part. It's still not shared, it's still mine, yes, MINE! SO don't say these kind of things when you have no right yet.

Sometimes, you should just slap yourself once and look around you, all our faces. If you want us to stay, you should seriously consider a change in attitude. I am not a fucking robot, cos I have feelings, feelings that are not all great right now. Just because I don't lose my temper often doesn't mean I don't have an angry side. It's all bottled up right now and I am sure it will all erupt any time soon.

2009-09-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Guess what came in the mail today?

Yes my Threadless tees have finally arrived! I'm so HAPPY! I totally jumped like a crazy bitch! Although it is a little oversized for me(jaw dropping), it will shrink cos it's 100% cotton! Well, at least it's what the site said.

Besides that, I got a job! Awesome! Now I can return my debt and pay for Rachel's camera repairs!

I'm like so sleepy right now, but couldn't resist blogging.

Tata!

2009-09-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

I still haven't got a job!

This is terrible. I am in need of some serious cash and I am still unemployed, wasting each day doing nothing. One thing that's holding me back a little is the tight schedule for the rest of the holidays. We have filming on the 2nd to the 6th of October, and 12th to the 14th is the chalet, and the 15th to the 16th is the FMSA camp. then it's school already. My employer will loathe me for the unavailable days.

It's the holidays, but I'm not enjoying it one bit, cos I'm broke.

couch potato

2009-09-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Today was supposed to be the day I find a job in the Classified section, but noooooooo, my parents forgot to bring it home. That means I have to wait for tomorrow's newspaper. I have decided to get the newspaper myself from tomorrow onwards, since it is so difficult to grab someone else's.

I managed to resist the temptation of gaming for a while and focused on the manuals assigned to me. Expecting a few days to finish the two books, but it ended taking only an hour to finish it. Well, first of all, the two books were the same, it's just that they were the third and fourth edition of the same thing. So, that already killed one book. The book didn't really state much. It taught me how to prepare a good resumé, how to get connections, and not be an asshole on set. The other sections of the book was just listing a bunch of cameras and troubleshoot tips(which I read too.). So, it wasn't that much to begin with anyway.

My life is composed of only 3 things right now: Food, PS2 and sleep. By the end of the holidays, I am gonna look like Manuel Uribe. Someone get me a job! I am very willing to get my life back on track, and get myself out of slothville as soon as possible.

Tata!

2009-09-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in a very hasty mood right now, cos number one, I just read the FPS website and everything sounds like a fucking military assignment., and number two, I have yet to read up on the manuals assigned to me. Well, it's not that I don't want to read it, it's just that I'm in 110% holiday mode right now and pretty much nothing can stop me from playing. Plus, it has been almost 9 months since I touched my baby PS2. I still need to find the charger for my PSP though. Not intending to indulge in the Xbox, cos I think it is not all that fun. And to top it all off, I still have the prehistoric gameboy intact!

I shall start eating those books in one or two days time. Production design is not that much of a problem than I expected. I guess that's about it for me. Unlike other people, I actually want to relax in the holidays. I'm not a born workaholic.

I finally booked the chalet yesterday, 1000 points for me! It's gonna be at Aloha Loyang, and it's a garden terrace! Not sure what it means, but sure sounds cool! Oh, and it's also gonna convenient for the Tampines dwellers, since it's like only a few stops away. Can't wait for it!

Just realized I started the past 3 paragraphs with "I". My English is getting really really terrible. I'm just lucky I even got an A for my WritComm. Oh yes, speaking of grades, I managed to disappoint myself, yet again, by getting a tragic GPA of 2.68. I'm like fucking disappointed at myself for landing myself at the I-don't-belong-to-film-school line. How can such a calamity happen?! I didn't slack off as much, and I did put in effort. And where did Lady Luck go this time? But I shall treat this as a wake up call. I shall work doubly hard next semester, or I will change my name to Kanye!

Okay, it is getting pretty dark. I still want to game! Tata!

2009-09-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Back to old skin. Yes, There is a limit to the number of good skins in Blogskins, and I'm too lazy to make my own. Don't know how to either.

fucking hacked!

2009-09-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

A long since I updated, again, but today has got to be one of the worst days of my life!

MY FUCKING MAPLESEA ACCOUNT GOT FUCKING HACKED!

I am like so fucking angry at myself for letting such a thing happen to me! I took great caution to keep my password a secret, and to this date I haven't told anyone before! It's not about the money, it's about the wasted time and effort to get this high. Now, I am like penniless! And I don't know why that stupid hacker only stole money from my storage keeper, and not my other more valuable stuff. I didn't mind you stealing what was on my back, but to steal my life assets!? If I ever find out who you are, I will break your fucking neck and burn you alive you fucking piece of shit!

Every single monsters killed, every single scroll sold, every single quest done, all gone to the (NOW) BIG FAT FUCKING STORAGE BANK OF FUCKER.

Okay, I shall treat this as a sign, a forced, abrupt resignation from the computer gaming world. Now, I move on to the PS2! Shall move my PS2 to the big screen TV!

Tata!

2009-09-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted anything for a long time, but I was so appalled by what happened at the VMAs. What the fuck, so upset about it!

Terrible! This proves my point that Kanye is a douchebag! 100% unsalted douchebag! So angry when I heard about it. Shouldn't have missed the VMAs! Ugh! How can he do that to Taylor Swift?! Okay fine I'm not that much of a fan but she is one of the few mainstream artistes I don't feel embarrassed listening to.

Okay bye.

2009-09-07T04:06:00.000-07:00

Blogger is getting more and more screwed up. My previous two updates which I posted up disappeared mysteriously. Dang.

Too lazy to blog recently. The holidays didn't turn out how I wanted it to be. I haven't got a job, not because I didn't bother find one, but it's cos I can't find a good one. I can't go do stuff I want. I can't shop. I can't have steamboat. I don't have any money!

And to top it all off, I find out that my brother is more bitchy and diabolical than I would ever be. I don't behave the way people want not because I think it is fun to rebel. I don't behave the way people want me to behave because that is against what I believe in. I swear even though my parents hate it. I stay up late despite my parents constantly nagging at me. I don't greet my elders despite my parents and self-righteous pussy of a brother telling me to do so. And even when I do things people want me to do, it is not because I am listening to them. It's because it is against my beliefs. I don't do drugs not because my parents tell me not to. I don't smoke because I myself do not like it. I don't cut myself not because everyone tells me not to. I don't cut myself because I think it is immature and stupid. I am 17, and I should be given the freedom to think. It may be wrong to people, but to me it may not be. I didn't ask to be born, you know.

Recently I have decided to spice up my wardrobe with more colour. I got more bright coloured clothes, like pink and aqua. It doesn't mean that I'm sissy or whatever. My parents have been labeling me as gay for being more vibrant. I just can't stand homophobes and people who stereotype instantly.

I am fucking pissed right now. this is not just a post anymore. This is a sign of help. I AM UP FOR FUCKING ADOPTION! ANY KIND SOUL WILLING TO TAKE ME IN!? I'M NOT A TROUBLE CHILD! I AM JUST SUFFERING FROM SEVERE MENTAL ABUSE FROM A CRACKHOUSE! TAKE ME IN!

Today is a good hair day!

2009-09-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

Fuck. This is a fucked up feeling. It isn't nice. People shouldn't feel this way at all.

I feel fucking incompetent now. It is like not cool at all. It's not that I'm trying to grab some of the limelight. It's not cool to know that you are too stupid and dumb to do anything substantial. Why don't everyone try to be in my shoes now, and see how it feels. They probably wouldn't be laughing so loudly now. I don't see myself getting any shit out of this. Ya, just put all the fuck to me.

It is bad enough you are cursed with being an incompetent bastard, now you are supposed to do double the incompetent work.

And to top it all off, there is practically no one willing to help, cos they are too fucking excited. Fuck.

Yes, I'm ranting on my blog, and I don't care fuck.

mouthy!

2009-08-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

I want a Tenori-on for my birthday! Have you seen it?! Coolest instrument ever! Can't post a photo here, but you should Google it! Fucking awesome. And it makes electronic sounds, suits my electro liking!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe the amount of ass-kissing and posing I have seen today! So fake! So disgusting! So irksome! So so so... uuggggh! Unbelievable! And the old people were so gullible to fall for it! And the pussy of a brother is so mindfucked it's impossible to un-mindfuck! FUCKING MINDFUCKED! I instantly saw through all the facade. Fucking stupid. Mindfucked people say retarded things. No need to listen to them.

Can't wait to see the Nuts on Monday!

P.S.: Jamie, you cannot go to Canada!!!

Cool!

2009-08-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

So cool!

screwed.

2009-08-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Gosh my skin just went fucked up. Okay, I really need to get a few things sorted out in the holidays.

1) Tidy up wardrobe.

2) Get a job. I'm thinking telemarketing, but I don't wanna get shouted at over the phone. Kinda scary. The food industry is definitely not for me. Tuition isn't my type either. I will make the child cry everyday. And I can't do sales and promotion shit, cos it is kinda depressing when people reject you. Fuck how am I going to find a job? Any extras needed?!

3) Go on a diet. Fuck, I really can't stop eating, even at night! I have put on some visible weight these past few weeks. Fuck.

Fuck my life is screwed up now. I really need a job, like now! I don't mind starting work like tomorrow! I am really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reallt broke!

BROKE!

2009-08-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

Blogger's been very bitchy recently.

Just slept through the day, and night, from 12noon to 10pm. My sleeping schedule is completely screwed up, but it's okay, cos it's the holidays. Currently, I am broke to the point I have problems trying to get my daily meals. I do not know where am I supposed to get any money to return everyone, cos I really am broke, like rock-bottom broke. I can't go shopping, I can't go eat at restaurants, I can't buy any presents, I can't watch any movies. I can't do fuck!

Really worried about my money issues now. I am really screwed up over cash problems. I really need to get a job!

Climax

2009-08-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

It's Not Me, It's You.

Editing is finally complete, and all that's left with is to burn it into a disc. Also, I gotta update my FCE so I can read the file. And on my gosh, our film has a lot of sound effects and music. But it's okay, it's my last sleepless night until next semester arrives.

Now that I think about it, history is repeating itself. It happened the same before, now it is happening all over again. And the next you know it, the euphoria is gone forever.

But it's not me, it's you.

2009-08-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah! Audio Tech is done!

Just took a long afternoon nap, first in a long long long time. Feeling so refreshed right now. I am supposed to be Mapling now, but I'm still kinda thinking it's not the right time to play it. Wednesday maybe. I still got editing to do, so it doesn't feel right to Maple when there is still something to do. But it shouldn't take too long.

Going to school later to finish editing the sound. Hopefully I can help to salvage it a little. Not too familiar with the audio controls in FCP. But before I go to school, I am looking forward to eating chicken rice! Oh my gosh I haven't eaten it for like such a long period of time! Like, it has been 4 days since I had my last plate of chicken rice! Okay fine so it isn't that long. But I'm hungryyyyy.

There is only one word suitable for describing me right now: BROKE. Fuck I am so broke right now I barely have enough money for the rest of the month. Good thing it is the holidays, so at least I can save up money. Chalet, barbeque, shopping at Bugis, everything needs china-loads of money!

Fuck I think I'm down with a stomach flu. It is especially irritating at night, when I am about to sleep.

Gonna stop here. Getting late. Bye.

2009-08-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

Time to do some blogging. It is getting pretty late but a post wouldn't hurt.

Holidays have unofficially started for us, and we are down to our last ordeal. I better ace the Audio Tech written test or I will slap myself stupid.

Went to celebrate Chingy's birthday yesterday. Went for Sakae Sushi for a buffet, and went to Ion for a "shopping spree". Ended up buying only one pink shirt, one over-priced but kick awesome chocolate bar, and some kick awesome tako-yaki. Trust me, looking at how they make the tako-yaki makes you have second thoughts about buying just buying 6. If it weren't for us being terribly broke, we would have bought 10. It really really gooooooooood.

Went to Ryan's place after that to drink, but I ended up drinking only a little. I was really hungry then, but too broke to but anything. Slept at Ryan's place till 12.30pm, and went back to sleep till 3.30pm. Went home after that, and headed back to Ion again. Bought another shirt! Kick awesome! Had dinner at the HK Cafe, and when to get some Blizzard! Ah, if only there was an Orange Julius outlet in NP, it would be Heaven.

Gonna start studying tomorrow. I think my binging will get better after Monday. Life's gonna be a lot better. Gonna go sleep now. Looking forward to breakfast.

Nights!

2009-08-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

Blogger is kinda screwed up at the moment, but I'll still blog.

It is 3.08am in the morning right now, and I am, again, procrastinating sleep. I don't know why, but I always have a feeling that something needs to be done before I turn in, and I can't sleep. Plus, my biological clock has been tuned in a way that makes me a nocturnal creature.

The school semester is coming to an end, with only Audio fuck to deal with. Till now, I still have no clue what all the sound shit is about. I wonder how I am going to pass my practical test. It will be a traumatic one, for me and for the lecturers. Can't blame me actually, I'm not keen on pursuing Audio anyway, it's not my cup of tea.

This week has been pretty fun apart from all the projects, assignments and tests. Stayed over at the Whampoa crib a few times. Oh my gosh Rachel should not get drunk ever again!

2009-08-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

Another day of school, another day closer to the holidays.

It's always like this, you get into holiday mode at the last few weeks of school, and that is when we are at our busiest. The irony.

Didn't go to school today, cos I was too tired. Went for my French test, and it was apparent I screwed it up, since I only started studying at 5.56pm. The test started at 6pm.

Despite the day being rather alright, I was feeling kinda down by the end of the day. Felt kinda isolated. I wasn't being completely myself today. Don't know why, maybe I left some of me in bed.

Honestly, I get the feeling people are distancing themselves from me. Maybe it's just cos I'm very paranoid. I'm worrying myself, or maybe not. I'm being very confusing now.

Random bitch moment. Target: Fire survivor. I really think he is jealous that my face doesn't make babies cry. But, I do admire him for his courage to walk out of his house with a fugly face.

I should go sleep now. This week has been my slutty mean bitchy cunt week. Not feeling my bitchiness funny. Just need some shut eye. More sleep = less cranky = more funny = less Nigel bitchiness = more happy = less sad posts = more time to sleep!

2009-08-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

Unfortunate stuff that happened to me this week:

1) I got wrongly blamed for letting Azmyra into the guy's room.

2) I fell down a chair in the Audio room and got a cut on my hand which looks like a vampire bite.

3) My mum forgot to wash my white shirt, since the FP shoot, and I had to wear my dad's clothes to school, though it looked similar.

4) 74 bailed on me twice when I reached the bus stop.

5) I missed my stop on Tuesday night, and ended up in Hougang. Got myself a cone, and I couldn't get up the next bus cos of that. Reached home really really late.

6) Our AT2's transcript wasn't a transcript, deducted points cos of that. JUST BECAUSE OUR INTERVIEWEE WASN'T FROM CHINA.

7) One of Chingy's cast happens to look like me. What the fuck! I am not ugly okay!

8) Sound in our film was too loud.

9) I had the hardest time waking Azmyra up just now. Waking her up is like trying to nail jelly on the wall.

10) Couldn't get the leotard for the Art and Design photoshoot cos Azmyra had the tapes for her film.

11) French test is at 6pm and I haven't studied fuck.

12) It is 1.04pm now and I need to head to school for editing and I need to stop blogging!

2009-07-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

Miss me?!

Haven't been blogging lately due to the china-loads of assignments and projects in hand. Just two more weeks of this shiz and I'm free! I already got a list of events in the holidays which I gotta plan out.

This week is definitely my most hectic week of this whole semester. Journal assignment 2 and final essay outline, individual work, which means I would die alone if I don't hand it in on time. Actually, I have never felt so busy before, not even in secondary school. Back then, if we don't finish our work, we can always get away with it cos it doesn't affect our grades in any way. But at least I am doing what I like now, so it doesn't matter.

Been deprived of sleep this whole week. I only finish my assignments when my parents wake up for work, so imagine how much sleep I have had this week. Good thing filming was postponed to the next day, or else I would fall asleep while panning the camera.

Currently in the Audio Room now, waiting for the meeting to start. Can't believe I have to give MOS Burger a miss for a meeting! Oh my gosh I am so hungry! Fucking starving. Fuck.

Okay, I shall end here with fucking funny photos!

Rachel: I look fierce! I'm workin' it!

Rachel: I'm smiling with my eyes too! Hehehe...

Azmyra: No no no Rachel, THIS is smiling with your eyes!

Bye!

2009-07-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

It is quite late now, so a quick post here before I go indulge in my long-deserved sleep.

Went to do CATS at Yishun today. I got woken up by a fucking pedophiliac/librarian when I was sleeping so soundly at one corner. You know that feeling?! It fucking sucks.

After CATS shit, I went to Lena's place to

chill while the rest did their script. I'm being considered for

casting. Hopefully the filming do not clash.

Suddenly feel like having a 4E class outing. Well, since I'm so free during the holidays, I might as well plan one. It is fun anyway, especially when the first one I planned was successful.

Check out how much I have changed! I was fucking flabbergasted!

2008.

2009

What the fuck! I practically had no fringe at all! Love the colour though, but the fringe, just not workin' out! I love my fringe now, and I cannot believe I'm gonna go cut it soon.

Oops, I didn't blog about the Steamboat!

That night was awesome! Had lots of fun, though knowing that prawns are out to get you is not very pleasing. But the steamboat was good overall. Ate an exceptional amount of squid.

I cannot believe I rolled down a slope! Alongside some of the T1A2 bitches! It was really really fun, a lot more fun than it sounds. Adrenaline rush! Amazing experience. Everyone should try it. Against the norms, against being boring!

Inspired by Azmyra! Group photo!

This ANTM-inspired photo got 38 comments, mostly on Matthew's pervy pose.

Hahaha, he got eliminated. *Matthew fades away.

Feeling sleepy now. Will try to get myself CINNAMON MELTS tomorrow! Bye!

2009-07-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, Wednesday has passed. The editing test is finally over. I guess I did okay, like the norm in class. But I am glad it did make up for the horrible score I got for camera test last time. No WRITCOM tutorial later, awesome!

Can't wait for the STEAMBOAT! Oh my gosh I really really cannot wait. Feeling so hungry now. My only official meal today was dinner, at Makan Place, the super value meal. Fuck I'm making myself even hungrier.

You know what can make my hunger be any more worse? I am watching cook shows on TV now. Not that I want to, but it is the only interesting thing showing right now.

Garh, feeling so tired and bored now, but my body is not allowing me to go sleep until I finish watching Nigella Bites.

This post is like going nowhere. Just random thoughts! Will change skin soon though.

Okay, time to go to bed. Bye!

2009-07-12T10:18:00.001-07:00

No one is tagging. Awwwww!

Kinda feeling, erm, well I don't wanna say it publicly, cos I don't want some people to know. Well, I guess T1A2 would know. But it doesn't matter if you know or not, cos the point is, it is a pretty shitty feeling. The world feels so scary and cold, I can hardly catch a breath. I can't find any warmth, that warmth that I was showered with in the past. I don't have the luxury to be what I really am everyday. It is a constant struggle to hide the real Nigel, hold him back, to avoid any casualties, targeted towards me most of the time. I don't think being my own self is such a crime though. If you could just come closer, you can hear shrieks and screams.

It is so hard to confide in anyone these days, especially when people can't take you seriously, and most importantly, I can't take myself seriously. I can't find anyone though, not yet at least. Deep down, I know I'm trying too hard to cover up all the scars with my laughter. I feel like crying, but my tears always flow back the way it came from. But when I don't want to cry, they pour out like rain, always at the most awkward times.

I'm not complaining or anything, as I know I don't have the right to since I'm not doing anything about it. I don't think I deserve it though, not all of it at least. I don't snatch little children's lollipops, I don't start wars, I don't push old ladies into the streets, I don't skip classes, I don't destroy people's properties. I don't know why I am so unlucky in every way. I believe everyone is cut out for happiness, but my own sad life is contradicting that idea. I have run out of patience, I am tired, I am still not _______.

Stupid, desperate and trivial to many, it still does say something about this 17 year old. I need something, someone, somewhere, sometime, where I can finally be feel it again, that warmth. I need that pillar of strength, but I still have to search for it. It is not easy, cos it is elusive, it is cloaked, it is within the crowd. Or maybe I'm just lying to myself, it would never there.

2009-07-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh I love Lily Allen for working hard to make MVs!

Here's the new video for 22.

It's art! It's visual pornography! It's Lily Allen!

Kick Awesome!

Bombshell!

Amazeballs!

Faboosh!

Fierce!

Terrific!

Ferocious!

Work of art!

A masterpiece!

2009-07-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

Still not too late to post this up!

Happy Birthday Kim!

School today was alright. But it was kinda loser-ish that we didn't go out and have fun. Fridays should be for fun. But I am really drained from like this past week. Been deprived of sleep, and today was the most epic episode of me missing the stop. I was sleeping so well in the bus, when I woke up, I was at some unknown place in Dover. Took 74 back, and apparently, I was already past Singapore Poly! Like, what the fuck?!

Okay, I need steamboat!

Too lazy to blog now. TTFN!

2009-07-09T11:06:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh the SEA PIG quiz still haunts me. The name may sound really cute, but the real thang is all kinds of ugly! Icky icky poo! Can you imagine blogging while constantly looking at this terrifying monstrosity?!

Eeew! And the camel spider really makes my hair stand on end. I really don't dare to look at it. I just caught a glimpse and I'm really freaked out. Here's the link to this evil thing, something you just wanna throw at your bitchy lecturer!

And the face of the WOLF EEL is just fucking gross, and at the same time funny!

Enjoy the terrors of these freaks of nature! Don't worry, they aren't under your bed! Haha! Crap I need to do MyWritingLab.

2009-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Honestly, if you girls still don't fall in love with Kris Allen after looking at this photo, you are lesbian! Well, and for guys, good for you!

2009-07-08T10:44:00.001-07:00

Seriously! How can anyone not like Kris Allen after looking at this photo!

What the fuck! There is a fucking blackout in my house right now, half of the block actually. What the fuck! Without electricity, it means that the modem is off, which means there is no Internet access here, which means my Mac is practically useless. Fucking hell. Of all time, at least have a blackout during the day, not in the middle of the night! Currently typing on Word, since there is nothing to do, might as well write a blog post.

I’m like super sleepy and tired, and my back is fucking aching like shit. Stayed up till 5am last night to rewrite the field log. Now I just wanna go take a bath and go to bed. I so do not wanna be late for Shirlyn’s class. I hate writing emails! Oh, and I also need some time to get my hotdog too. I didn’t eat it today, feeling so weird. It’s like a drug.

Let’s talk about my SOCPSYC common test. I think I will flunk it, epically. Every single question needed a lot of thinking, right down to the MCQs. The last question was really dreadful. I think I had the shortest answer in class. Everyone filled up the every line given, and I only finished ¾ of the lines. Imagine how much important stuff I have missed out!

OH THANK GOD THE POWER IS BACK ON! See ya!

2009-07-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Holy bit[s]! I just saw the cheesiest thing, ever! Okay, nevermind, ain't important.

Today's dinner with the Nuts was kick awesome! Met up with Kim at AMK Hub this afternoon, and had lunch there. Went to Mac's and chatted. Internet access was rather slow there. But anyway, went to get Jolyn and Pearl's present, and proceeded to City Hall. Met up with Pearl, JiaJia, Jolyn and JiaRui, and Jiahui and Olivia finally came. Went to Aston's for dinner. My meal only made me half full, despite it having rather large portions. But, I can't get anymore stuff to eat cos I'm broke beyond the back of the mountain.(Oh gosh I can't believe I just said that.) After dinner, we went to Starbucks and chatted. Oh my gosh it has been ages since we had a decent chat session. It was all fun. I finally get ot satisfy my thirst for Green Tea Frappicino.

When I got home, I found out that NVP2 is to be re-filmed. HOLY BIT[S]! It is like 3am now, and I am still not going to bed yet. I need to wake up by 6am!

Photos are on Facebook. Enjoy all my camwhore goodness!

2009-07-04T00:44:00.001-07:00

Hmmmm, random thought, but all of a sudden, the whole I-miss-4E bug got to me last night. Just miss our talks, our Starbucks chat sessions. Miss our gossip, our conversations. The whole I-need-to-move-on-cos-everyone-else-most probably-had thing is kinda saddening. But most of all, I miss the classroom. Like, a huge part of 4E's memories remain there. A class outing just won't do much to revive 4E, you know? The uniforms, the teachers, the filthy classroom, the cliques(well, the Nuts most importantly.), they make it all come together.

Somethings are like really really difficult to forget, even though there is T1A2. I don't know, who I am today is all cos of 4E. The bitchiness, the sarcasm, the cynicism, all came from the class, which is good, by the way.

Oh gosh, I am going into the emotional and nostalgic mode. Okay, at least I get to see the Nuts tomorrow.

Hopefully, there can be major class outing. Not just any class outing. A huge one. But let's do that once we get older. More stuff do, more places to go. Garh I'm not writing in logical sentences.

2009-06-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have quite an amount of SOCPSYC shit to mug, but I guess I got the procrastination bug again. Oh well, it's the night, everyone's not studying yet. Will get to it as soon as I'm done blogging.

Actually, I don't really have anything I wanna blog right now. I just got a spontaneous drive to list down my birthday wishlist, so I just decided to blog. Besides that, I can't wait for tomorrow! No, I'm not looking forward to the SOCPSYC quiz, but the SMART CASUAL theme! It is gonna be kick awesome! And a major camwhore session is a must!

Wishlist:
1. Kris Allen "Three Fold Path" T-Shirt.
2. Kris Allen Mug.
3. Bleach my hair blonde.
4. Get a manicure, and apply black nail polish.
5. Checkered tie.
6. Checkered beanie.
7. Checkered shirts from TOPMAN. (Green, Red, and Blue)
8. Checkered cap.
9. Checkered hat.
10. Ice cream cake. (Vanilla, green tea, milk tea, all is fine!)
11. Big big card.
12. Steamboat dinner.

Should be it for now. Bye!

2009-06-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

Currently in the editing room, doing nothing. My throat is dry, my nose is blocked, I feel a little woozy, the common cold can't get anymore irritating than this. Waiting for Ryan and ChingYee to come back with my bottle of coke, cos I'm fucking thirsty now. Feels like pebbles blocking my nose now, and I am currently trying to breathe with my mouth, but fuck, it only makes my fucking throat dry.

CATS was rather useless just now. Spending 1 hour and 45 minutes in a classroom with a weirdo teacher criticizing our idea and at the same time saying it's an awesome idea is just creepy. But at least I got to bitch with the others. Haha.

Aww man there are so many other people in the editing room right now, it is difficult for T1A2 to be free and open, and make ourselves at home. Some people in FMS are just not nice at all, unlike us T1A2.

Gonna go to the toilet. Till then bitches!

2009-06-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

Don't mind the fat guy.

Not a natural blonde, but Luke Worrall just pulls off the look with such kick awesomeness! Oh my god why can't I pull it off like him? Not fair, but he looks damn fucking cool! Oh wait, he's a model, figures. Haha. And with that hat, oh my gosh kick awesomely cool! Kick awesome!

2009-06-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

RACHEL ATROUS VALO

CYRUS!!!

2009-06-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

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The time's kinda screwed up, but whatever! Oh my gosh KRIS ALLEN this is your number one fan from Singapore! I SO TOTALLY WISH THAT YOU WOULD GRACE MICRO-SIZED SINGAPORE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2009-06-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, 23 hours and 37 minutes to Kris Allen's 24th birthday! 23 hours and 36 minutes!

Just realized how difficult it is to blog with the MacBook. The laptop is burning hot below, I can cook an egg there. Anyway, I'm rather sleepy now, and I gotta go to the bank in the morning to create an account, or something like that. I will try to make this post quick.

Met up with MJ, Pearl and Jolyn today at Mac's. Had breakfast, and Olivia came a while later. Walked to school, with my stomach kinda rumbling a bit, with Olivia worked up over being tardy. So not used to being uptight nowadays. Haha. Been out of a CCA for far too long, say one year? Anyway, we were late for ten minutes, and turns out, it hasn't started. Met up with Kim and JiaJia. Haven't seen some people for so long... not that I want to though.

The meeting was all about the upcoming Homecoming Fiesta and Prom Night. THANK GOD THEY CHANGED THE PROM DATE! I had a great 'chat' th

ere, and we left for CP. They had lunch, and I left halfway to head to AMK.

The bus trip was an hour long, which meant that I slept for an hour. Felt refreshes after the bus trip. Saw Rachel all alone at Mac's, DAMN SCARY! Good thing she cracked a smile when she saw me, or else I would have been creeped out. Matthew was there too. Got myself a double cheeseburger, the second one in my entire life! We were supposed to commence our SOCPSYC take-home tutorial, but we ended chatting instead cos half of our group was late. Amanda was at school, and Azmyra couldn't leave the house. Talked for hours, and we finally left to do some shopping. Bought myself a bumper sticker! "Don't fuck with me... I fuck back!" Saw a kick awesome carplate, which said, "Hollywood Blvd." So kick awesome! Anyway, it was $25, so I couldn't buy it. Alfian and Amanda came, and we went to LJS. After LJS, we walked back to AMK Hub. They decided to watch "Drag Me To Hell", without me, even after I begged them for SO LONG, as I have to have dinner with my family. Then the rest of the day... garh it was boring.

Feeling darn tired now. Oh, here's a photo of NVP2's fun group!

Such a kick awesome photo!

Kinda feeling out of touch with the English language. Feeling pretty rusty. Can't stand the fact that I have practically forgotten every single word in my vocabulary bank, which is pretty much non-existent now. Garh, I need to brush up on my English.

Feel like making my blog private. Getting fucking sick and tired of having people take the piss outta me cos of my blog posts. You know what? Even if I don't write about it, IT'S STILL IN MY BRAIN!

Shut-eye now. Tata!

2009-06-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

I need to fucking move on with my life. Fuck. Nuts and T1A2 should be my top priority right now, not that bunch of people who so fucking backstabbed me behind my back. Seriously cunts, it was all a misunderstanding, and I'm not being petty. I never thought it was my fault though, because all I was doing was trying to be myself, not a blood-sucking attention seeker.

Looking forward to the chalet, and Thursday's chat session. Need to catch up with the Nut. It will be lying if I said we haven't drifted apart a little. Well, at least we are smart to know that we should aim for our desired career, not some people who put friends on their top priority. At least we know we would be successful and rich enough to own their sorry arses, well me at least.

I have to work a lot harder if I wanna do the following:

1) Interview Kris Allen, shake his hand, give him a hug, get his autograph, and take a picture with him. (Fangirling here)

2) Interview Lily Allen, shake her hand, give her a hug, get her autograph, take a picture with her, and booze with her. (Fanboying here)

3) Be a fucking celebrity so that all humans wanna take a picture with me.

4) Get a professional name, Nigel Allen, for an acting career, or maybe an SNL alum.

5) Get a chance to meet Oprah so I can beg her to give me a talk show.

6) Show the finger on TV to show great disrespect to all the people I despise. You people know who you are.

7) Be on The Ellen Degeneres Show.

8) Swear on TV to everyone I despise.

9) I don't know, continue mocking everyone I despise.

Crap I'm gonna be late. Heading to Bugis now. Bye!

2009-06-16T05:51:00.000-07:00

Can being Nigel get any worse? It is worse enough that I feel insecure by my weight, and I'm trying really hard not to show that, but NOOOOO, I had to have Asian relatives to fucking rub it in my fucking face! Fucking hell! I know, I'm not fucking doing anything about it, but that does not concern anyone! ANYONE! My weight is not gonna pull down the Earth! Fucking hell! Stop criticising about my weight! If you think reverse psychology is gonna work, NO IT WON'T! Fuck. And no, I SO DO NOT WANT YOUR CONCERN! And if you do care, DON'T! I don't make fun of anyone I'm related to, so stop insulting my size, cos it ain't funny!

Oh, my apologies to T1A2. My parents (and my aunt) just objected to you guys coming over to my place. You guys know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING AFRAID OF YOU GUYS FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW DIRTY MY HOUSE IS, BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE OLDER AND ARE JUDGMENTAL AND CRITICAL. OH NOOOOOOOOO, it is so FAIR that my brother can bring over his friends over without asking and still get away with it after the gazillionth time, and it is okay for my cousins to bring their friends over to their place. Oh wait, I just remembered, THEY ARE IN ALL IN THEIR TWENTIES! Everything is so impartial isn't it?! ISN'T IT?!?! FUCK WHAT DID I DO TO FUCKING DESERVE THIS?! If I get a penny for every time I get unfairly treated at home, I WOULD BE FUCKING DONALD TRUMP!

FUCKING HELL!

2009-06-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to a radio convo with Kris Allen. OMGOSH he said he hopes his album comes out by November. Wouldn't it be just kick awesome if it officially came out on November 19?! OMGOSH I need to calm down now. Anyway, this is gonna be one long post. And to end my post is the best thing that can happen to me right now.

Okay where do I start? Hmm, oh yes. I stayed over at Ryan's place for 3 days and 2 nights. It was pretty fun overall. Lame comments from Matthew, Sasha's boxers for all to see, the couple making out, Tasha's big tummy, it was all fun. Thanks Ryan for letting us cramp at your hood, yo! (Failed attempt at trying to be black.)

Day1:

Went to school for AUDTP tutorial, which was not tutorial-ish at all. I ended up finishing my storyboard, and answered a question on the mixer. I was surprised I managed to get it right. Chose the brand of mixer I wanted: Allen&Heath. Went to the back of the class and slept for an hour. Chatted and waited for a few people to finish up their storyboards, and we left to hand them in. And because of SOMEONE, we submitted ours late. Fuck. After that, we went to get our equipment, and Rachel and I went to have lunch.

Left for Tampines One with Rachel, Amanda, and Ryan&Jiayi. Got myself a grey vest and a cute shirt. Went to TopShop, but everything was fucking expensive there, so we left for Far East Plaza for dinner. Went to Ryan's place after that. Chatted, and slept.

Day 2:

Woke up really late and had breakfast. Took a shower, and did the storyboard. Slept while the rest watched Gattaca. Slacked till the night, and had dinner. Pizza! After that we went to print out our photos for the storyboard. Bought a McFlurry, and went back to Ryan's place. Lena came, we had to fetch "Josephine" shortly after. Bought our late-night supper (Wanton and noodles. Haha!), and went downstairs to watch TV. Royston, ChingYee, Alfian, and Azmyra arrived a while later, and we went out to the swing and started to bitch. Went back to the house, and slept after a healthy round of listening to Kris Allen's Heartless. Slept at 5am.

Day 3:

Lena woke me up at around 7-ish, and I realized I had a towel on me to keep me warm. Was damn fucking sleepy. Had Mac for breakfast, and went back to sleep for a little while more. Woke up, and realized shooting had already begun. Took me a while to get together, and shooting officially began. I was the camera operator, and assistant director. As the camera operator, I had to fill in the field-log. Filming at Ryan's place took a little longer than we expected, but it was all fun, especially the slapping scenes. Had lunch, and set off for school. Left Lena and Matthew to take the cab alone was genius, though we forgotten about the money issue. Haha.

Filming continued outside the equipment room, and I fell asleep on the floor with the field-log in my hands, luckily I dozed off when it was in the midst of some creative issues. Went up to the office to continue shooting. As it got darker, it got fucking scarier. Wrapped up as fast as we could. When we went to get our bags, the sky was already pitch black, and we could hardly see anything. It was so funny with Azmyra around, especially when we were in the lift. As the lift door slowly opened on the first floor to reveal a dark place, she yelled an "OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!" which was so fucking priceless. It is making me laugh as I type. We ran out of the lift, laughing hysterically. Later, we waited at the parking lot for the other group to arrive, and I fell asleep on the floor again. Azmyra tried to sit down and she split her skirt! It was fucking hilarious! Waited for eons and they finally came. Had dinner at Al-Azhar and went home.

My sleeping problem is really getting on my nerves. I really cannot help it. When my body gets tired, my brain goes on an automatic sleep mode. Caffeine can't really help, even thinking about my favourite people won't keep me awake. Life sucks being a fucking pig, even though no one made me this way.

Oh my gosh, I only finished a small portion of this post.

After 2 nights out, I can finally feel my bed! Oh my god my bed is so unharpy that I abandoned him for 2 days, he gave me a fucking backache today. It was so painful, I couldn't get off the bed. Missed my chance to be an extra today. Met the group at Bugis instead, and went shopping. Couldn't resist the hat and tie obsession, and ended spending $35 for a hat and 2 ties. No money already. Went to Iluma's Thai Express for dessert. The coconut milk made me feel sick for a while, and I tried to get rid of the nausea with water, but it ended up making me feel bloated and nauseated. Went to Lena's place after that, and had pizza! Thanks Lena and family!

Time for some psychobabble. As time flies, I get older and more matured physically. I don't know why, but I'm still 15 years old inside. I know I'm supposed to be thinking more maturely, but I'm not. It has nothing to do with how I should be treating people, it's more of how I treat myself. I am still acting like everyone's obnoxious baby brother, and I don't like it, but I don't know how I should stop it. Whatever, I am not supposed to care right now. Besides that, I feel lonelier, and lonelier each passing day. I think a few people know why, but everyone felt this way before I guess. I wonder when is the day I get attached, now that my best friend is in America. I need someone who knows me well. Identity crisis issues never hit me before, but know it has crushed me like a bombshell. I need to be someone unique. I must not be someone ordinary, which I am slowly becoming. I need something I can call my own, and need it to be kick awesome. Or else, I would be innocent and run-of-the-mill, something I never thought I would become.

Bad things aside, and let my finish up this post. I just found out something, and it's the best thing that can happen to me now. *Drum roll.*

I CAN BUY KRIS ALLEN MERCHANDISE IN SINGAPORE!

*Fireworks, marching bands, parade!* Gasp! Just found out this awesome site that can let me order online and they can ship it here! So kick awesome! Life in Singapore suddenly turned a lot brighter for me! The entertainment industry in Singapore is so lagged, but this really helped! Will try to get EVERYTHING that is up for sale. That would mean starving school days and a shopping hiatus. I NEED THOSE MERCHANDISE! Here's the link for those who are interested (LIKE WHO AIN'T?!):

Kris Allen Fan Shop!

It's getting late now, really late. TTFN!

2009-06-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I was planning to post a long post today, but I started lying on my bed and now I'm practically half-asleep. So I am just gonna list the things I need to blog about tomorrow.

1) Staying over at Ryan's place.

2) NVP2.

3) My perpetual sleeping problem.

4) Why I'm so unhappy now.

5) Food seem so unappetizing recently.

6) My bed is my true love.

7) Holidays are here!

Okay, gonna go sleep now. Bye!

2009-06-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

I got like 12% percent of battery power right now. Need to get this post up quick.

Currently at Ryan's place, sleeping soon. Shooting later. The air-con is getting cold now. Friends are drunk. Need to be a good camera assistant, and assistant director. Need to keep in good terms with actors. Need to stop thinking about Kris Allen. Need to stop ogling at the photo. Talking in fragment-ish sentences. Oh my gosh it is near 5am.

Okay, I got to go. Bye!

2009-06-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

Currently staring at the computer, reflecting on what I have done today.

Well, one thing's for sure, I can't keep my own secret! Oh my fucking god almost everyone knows about it already. Garh fucking hell I am so dead. Just when you think the Bitch Club can't find anything significant to bitch about me, they do! Fuck! Why did I even play truth or Dare just now?! Fuck! Totally regretted it. Note to self: Truth or Dare is no longer fun for Nigel.

My neck and back is aching like fuck, again. Totally ruins my mood. But after Perez, I feel so much better. Check out what Adam Lambert said to the cover of Rolling Stones magazine.

"I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear I'm gay," American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert tells the new issue of Rolling Stone. "I've been living in Los Angeles for eight years as a gay man. I've been at clubs drunk making out with somebody in the corner."

Lambert says he decided to wait to come out in Rolling Stone because it would be "cooler."
He explains, "Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler.' I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context. I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me."

According to Rolling Stone, Adam was open about his sexuality backstage at Idol. Lambert admits that he was nervous about coming out while Idol was still on the air because contestants are under a media embargo, preventing them from talking to reporters, and he wanted to do it on his "own terms." (He also says producers were open to him handling it however he wanted to.)

"I was worried that [coming out] would be so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing," Lambert tells the mag. "I'm an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing. it shouldn't matter. Except it does. It's really confusing."

Lambert says he was inspired to audition for the Fox network singing competition after having a "psychedelic experience" at the Burning Man festival in Nevada. There, he says, he experimented with "certain funguses."

"I knew that it was my only shot to be taken seriously in the recording industry, because it's fast and broad," he says of Idol.

Despite being gay, Glambert says he enjoys attention from the ladies too. "I loved it this season when the girls went crazy for me," he says. "As far as I'm concerned, it's all hot."
Plus, Adam reveals to Rolling Stone that he had a crush on Idol winner Kris Allen during the show!

When Idol producers put him in a room to share with Allen, Lambert says his first thought was, "They put me with the cute guy. Distracting! He's the one guy I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type — except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight."

Glambert also talks about the many photos of him dressed in drag and making out with boys that leaked on the Internets. He says that he forgot to remove photos from his profile on a social network for the Burning Man festival in Nevada. "Wasn't ready for that," he says. "I've only dressed in drag three or four times. … I don't tuck and wear breasts, that's not me." Lambert proclaims that he supports the gay-rights movement but doesn't want to be really involved. Mkay. "I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader," he says.

Stereotypes about gays do annoy Adam. "Clay Aiken's gay, and I'm gay, and we couldn't be more different. The only thing that is the same about everyone in the gay community is that we're gay. … Why can't we talk about a human community?"

In addition to his homosexuality, Lambert shares other personal details with Rolling Stone.
At 21, he was in a European tour of Hair for six months. That was when he dyed his hair black. In Germany, he started smoking pot and tried Ecstasy. But he does have limits. Among his dislikes: cocaine.

"That drug is such a reflection of the lack of self-esteem and control people have over themselves and their lives," he says.

Lambert credits the FOX reality show with helping him gain self confidence.

"I finally checked into my self-worth for the first time in my life, and the fact that it coincided with Idol is so sweet," he says. "I mean, I still have moments where I think, 'Oh, my skin is terrible, and I'm a little fat — I should really go to the gym more.' But for the most part, when I look in the mirror now, I finally see somebody who can do something cool."

So fucking cool! See the bolded paragraph?

I'm gonna go use my MacBook, facebook for a while, and then sleep or something. Good luck T1A2, or most of us at least. I SO DO NOT DESERVE A FUCKING "F" FOR FUCKING SOCPSYC!

2009-06-06T13:31:00.001-07:00

Currently at Ryan's place right now, trying to find a comfy spot to sleep, but the hard floor is really uncomfortable especially after you had alcohol. Having a headache right now.

Pretty full right now but my mouth is itching for something to eat. In the mood for steamboat and/or barbeque, or satay would be fine. Oh gosh, emotional eating is acting up again. Must restrain one's self. I shall not let food control me, I must control food! "Rise food rise! Attack food attack!"

Oh, and my pants just got a big big hole just now while we were playing at the playground. Damn big hole, but I don't feel embarrassed at all with T1A2. Like, Sasha is in his boxers right now, so why should I be any more shy?

Dinner was awesome today, man, seriously. Linguine, potato gratin, and little cocktail sausages ( that makes you think dirty for a moment), damn nice, man, seriously. Okay, I feel so guilty now, haha. Had a MacSpicy meal just now too. Online-fed Rachel some fries. The sweet-and-sour sauce made me wanna drink some sour-and-spicy soup. Coke with a little vodka just doesn't work out; I can't taste coke the same way again, man.

Conversation with Alfian, Matthew, Royston and Sasha is getting interesting now. Bye!

2009-06-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

Been in a bad mood these past two weeks. I can't sustain that pissed expression in me, don't know why. Feeling so alone, pissed off, and disturbed at the same time, words can't describe how fucked up I feel.

I need people who should leave me alone to leave me alone, and people who should give a fuck about me to give a fuck about me. It has always been a problem since ever, whereby the wrong people keep on preaching to me, and the people who should care do not. By now, people who know who should know that I live by my own rules. My way of living isn't bad, not that it is really good, but at least I am satisfied. If I can't satisfy myself, I shouldn't care fuck about what other people expect of me. So what if I'm the older one in the family? So what if I should be more responsible? I don't care fuck about what people think I should be. Everyone thinks it is so easy to live my life, they think it is so sloppy, so lazy, but it is so not. I have my own problems, and these I can never ever resolve myself. But you know what? No one knows me enough to help me. I may be open and all, but still my problems are a lot more complicated than Einstein can imagine. It is just me against the world, no one by my side.

Trying to be who I am is getting so difficult nowadays, which is so ironic now that I am studying in a polytechnic. I am supposed to given the independence to manage my own life, and choose who I want to become. But no, some people just find it so so so painful to let me decide on my own. I want to live my life in technicolor, not in fucking black and white. If I can't live the way I wanna live, living is of no point in the first place already.

Paranoia setting in, again. I know I know, it is inevitable, especially for someone like me. If anyone out there doesn't like me or anything, please do not try to be nice to me, or try to pretend to be friendly. It hurts a lot more than just bitchslapping into my fucking face. Being a tad too oversensitive at times, I do notice what the way people communicate with me. So, if anyone out there find me too much of a controversy to be a friend, then don't be. I ain't forcnig you anyway. I don't want to live my days not knowing that one of my friends is backstabbing me the whole time. If my actions or words have hurt you or whatever, please do not feel insulted, and you can stop pretending to be my friend. It is fucked up, a lot more fucked up than my actions. I am not gonna change just because of someone who isn't gonna make a large impact in my life, and end up being someone I hate to be. So if you hate me, loathe me, or depise me, just fucking stop the pretence, cos it is cheap and cowardly.

I feel so fucking pissed off, but no one can really understand, no one. This is so fucked up, sometimes life just ain't fucking worth it. Life is a bitch, a fucking bitch.

2009-06-01T10:26:00.001-07:00

Random post before I go to bed. It is 1.24am now, which means I will be able to stay awake for tomorrow's lecture.

Just wanna say a few things, you know, to make a point or whatever. To make it easier for me, I shall write in point form, cos I'm so tired I don't have the patience to string words together properly to form proper sentences. Wow look at the time!

1) Congratulations to "This feels so right" and "It felt so right"! Oh my gosh we so need another Truth session to get the scoop and dirt on y'all. Oh, and you guys need to invite me to your wedding, and your consecutive anniversaries, because y'all an ANGEL to bless you guys, not that I am totally into this love thing. I totally have a feeling the both of you wanna bitchslap me all over after reading this.

2) I can only dye my hair blonde when I turn 21. Like WHAT THE FUCK? I'm like 17 already, and I still can't choose the hair colour I want. Oh my gosh my mood just turned gloomy just thinking thinking about it. Oh my fucking god I need cool parents, or at least brainwash my OLD parents who still think it's the 1st century! I totally understand that they have a deprived childhood, but don't need to take it out on their own son. If I ever have children I will demand them to dye his hair at least twice. What the fuck did I do in my previous life to deserve such old, boring, old, overly conservative, old, petty and fucking OLD parents. Oh my gosh I hate my life as a teenager, because I have fucking old old old old and old parents!

3) I bought the Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging DVD! Yay! Now I can finally get people to watch with me for the 4th, 5th, 6th,... 100th time! I am so totally seduced by the Bri'ish accent in the movie. Inspired me to stay in London till I fully adopt the accent.

4) Tomorrow is Tuesday, which spells FUCK. Tuesdays are so fucking horrible, I feel as though I aged a decade after the day is over.

5) There was abs training today, again. Expecting cramps and bouts of excruciating pain for the next week.

6) I will not be having CATS and S&W for the next three weeks. Life would be so awesome for the next 3 weeks. Whooo!

7) I am constantly thirsty. I think it's gotta do with daibetes or something. If I really do have diabetes, PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME ASAP!

8) I bought a new beanie! My fetish for hats ain't over yet! It's white!

Gonna go sleep now. Toodles!

2009-05-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm back with another post. It is rather late now, but I'm still up for some blogging.

This week has been rather shitty. Let's start with Monday. There was CATS, and it was the worst class to date. Like, taking crap from our ever bizarre lecturer is bad enough, but to take more shit from Fat Flirty Garfield and Bitchy Midget is just too much! Fuck, it was pretty melodramatic in that classroom, but is was worth it once the two Chinese started presenting. Haha, I would have felt bad for a while if not for their bimbo-ness and ear-bleeding American accent. Oh yes, then there was gym. It was by far the most aching exercise I have ever done. Note to self: Do stomach exercises only during starvation diets.

Tuesday was fucked up as usual. Squeezing 4 lectures into a day can suck the fuck outta you, and it can also take the piss outta me. Tired, hungry and thirsty at the same time, now why would we wanna make ourselves suffer when it is obviously not Africa here?

Wednesday was goddamn fucked up. I can't believe the whole class screwed up their SOCPSY presentation. But at the same time it was comforting to know that our group wasn't the only group which sucked, though our slides were prolly the worse among everyone else's. Ah-diting was okay, though I was friggin' exhausted by then.

Thursday was alright, cos it was Pink Day. Everyone wore PINK! Why? Cos FUCKING Boohbah thinks that WEARING PINK is FUCKING GAY! Oh, and guess what? If I come close to him, HE WILL PUNCH ME! So horrified!

Friday, nothing much, AUDTP still not getting into my head, and ah-diting. Went to NCHS to chat and not help the Sec. 4s with their Chinese. Had dinner and chatted. Hmmm, I feel different.

Today, I went to Sentosa with Bitch Club. It has been a decade, literally, since I went there, so it felt awkwardly foreign to me. Went to the beach, and got into the water. Walking on scorching sand with blisters on my feet is not nice. Went to Amanda's church after that. It was a'ight, cept that the songs never ever seem to end, ever. Had dinner at Ajisen after that, and went outside to played Truth. Took a cab home with ChingYee after that.

May have looked like I was bursting with bitch hormones today, but it's just something to cover another thing. It is not easy living life with alone, and it is not easy trying to be myself and still care what others think at the same time. Well, not everyone can really comprehend this complicated mind of mine, sometimes I can't myself. My fucking insecurities have been bugging me lately. No, I'm not turning emo again, just a phase I guess. This cold weapon of massive consumption needs some warmth.

2009-05-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my fucking god, so much bitching to do, so little time!

This past week was so bitchy, I feel so fucking fucked up. Raging hormones, major bitching, and traumatizing fag experiences, so much to say!

Hmm, where should I start? Okay, let's start with Your Majesty. Oh my fucking god, I almost killed myself back on Thursday! He almost planted a hug on me! Oh my gosh! For a moment there my life just flashed through my eyes! As bitchy as I sound, it was a fucking traumatic experience which made me wanna be single for the rest of my fucked up life.

And can you guys hear the crows when he opens his mouth? Oh my gosh he is fucking lame and annoying! He needs to fucking shut that mouth of his before I stuff it with a hair ball. Speaking of that, IT IS THE DAWN OF THE EGGSHELL CHIN! Too clean, something's missing now. Anyway, have you ever felt as though you were one of the victims in SAW? Well, some of us did! It was a miracle how we managed to survive being in a small recording room with Your Majesty strangling us with 'HILARIOUS' jokes and smart-ass comments. Oh and FYI, bitching is communication in T1A2! Take the vacuum out of your skull, Your Majesty!

Next, the 8 rules of Bitch Club! Everyone has bitching potential, well almost everyone, if you know what I mean.

The 8 Rules of Bitch Club

First rule of Bitch Club is, you do not talk about Bitch Club.
Second rule of Bitch Club is, you DO NOT talk about Bitch Club.
If someone says stop, taps out or goes limp (from getting bitched), bitching ain't over!
Be proud of what you bitch about.
One bitching at a time.
Wait, screw rule 5.
Bitching will go on as long as they have to.
If this is your first time in Bitch Club, you have to BITCH!

Okay, it is 3.27 in the morning, and I am fucking drained, so I shall make this quick.

I am still gaga over Kris and Adam. I am so totally gonna buy their albums, especially Adam's, cos he is a POP singer! So awesome-rific, he wants to work with Lady Gaga and Katy Perry! Oh my gosh my fangirl side is acting up again! Besides them, I am still fucking gaga with Lily Allen! Oh my god I would do anything for her to come to Singapore, just that I would most prolly be the next featured stalker in Entertainment Tonight.

Filming was great just now. The bitching really made my day! Jiayi is a gifted bitcher! Anyway, I really do hope the film was well taken, cos if it isn't, it is my arse on the line. Jiayi will bitch my mouth off. Oh, and I really need this to pull up my crappy camera test score.

Okay, it is really getting late. Shall post another time. TTFN!

Angel face!

2009-05-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

Missed AI last night, but I'm catching the re-run now. Not that I don't already know, but...

KRIS ALLEN WON!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god! I'm hyperventilating! Oh god I'm a guy but his hotness can fucking slap me!

P.S.: Total bitch moment, but a slight scruff is hot for Kris Allen, ... and only Kris Allen.

Oh gosh words can't describe how fucking hot Kris is. Freaking JEALOUS! And with that last name, he is fucking perfect!

Adam Lambert is fucking cool too! Oh god he's like a fucking cool guy, even a mole of eggshell chins can't top him! Another butch moment!

2009-05-17T01:38:00.001-07:00

I haven't had a free day since like ever. Have been slacking all day today. Eating, sleeping, and watching TV, that's all the stuff I have done today. Gonna OOVOO at night, like always. Feeling pretty bored now so I just decided to blog for the sake of blogging.

Watched E! True Hollywood Story: Young Royals just now. I'm fucking jealous I'm not a blue-blood. So not far, I can totally mellow into the whole royalty thing right away. Okay, I'm just being o lame right now cos I'm so fucking bored.

Looking forward to the term-break. I'm totally not used to going to school, not like I ever was. I don't wanna spend 1/3 of my life preparing for the next 1/3 of my life, which is spent to make sure that the last 1/3 of my life isn't spent on preparing for anything.

Okay, I feel like drinking bubble tea right now. I wonder, how would bubble tea taste if we use alcohol as the main ingredient? Like like, vodka or something. Oh oh, like my favourite, Irish Creme! What could be better than milky alcohol?

This blog post is getting nowhere. Goodbye.

2009-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

It has been a while!

School has been a roller coaster ride lately. Really need to catch up with the others. Feel like a fucking retard for LOCPRO. What the fuck! I got fucking 4 out of fucking 7 1/2! I fucking suck at it! And worse of all, Your Majesty had to come out of the workshop and wave 7 into my fucking face!

But still, it has been really fun, even when T1A2 isn't bitching. I can't remember a day where I don't burst out laughing in school. Haven't linked them yet. Too lazy to. The class is so awesome! Totally brightens up my day talking to them. Everyone is like so funny, and some other(s) are just so funny to talk about.

Feeling a little guilty, cos I unintentionally brought out the crude side of some of us. But still, profanity is the best way to express oneself! Speaking of profanity, my favourite module so far is SOCPSYC. Every lesson is so fucking funny. The module I hate most is CATS! Oh my god I seriously cannot communicate with freaking Engineering students. Regardless of whether they are Chinese or not, THEY FUCKING SUCK IN ENGLISH! Seriously, I am practically a monolinguist, but an alright one, so do not speak to me in your dreadful English or incomprehensible Mandarin. It fucking takes the piss outta me!

AUDTP is still as 'uh-duhhhhhhhh' as usual, and WRITCOM is getting weird. Since when the hell did WRITCOM become CIIIIIIITATION? S&W is still alright, though I would rather stay at home to sleep. Walking uphill to school everyday is evil enough. Why the fuck is there no Skytain system in there?! People can start building a reservoir for my sweat. It is practically a bucket a day.

OurSpace is like a really cool hang-out, cept for the fact that it is a jungle of distraction. The tom-yum at SIM is awesome! It is the only thing I remember eating there. Makan Place is always such a crowded place, we hardly go there for lunch.

I really need to put in all my effort for the LOCPRO project. 4/7 1/2 is not fucking acceptable! Of all people, I had to be fucking called up first. Garh, totally giving myself an excuse, which is totally a fundamental attribution error. And why did the last group get fucking high?! COS WE HELPED THEM! I know, fundamental attribution error! And now that JiaYi is freaking director, Azmyra and I have to work the fucking camera, and we suck at that! Isn't life just so awesome sometimes?

The King has been rather, erm, how should I put this delicately, erm, FUCKING ANNOYING. It occurs in lessons all the time, constantly bombarding the tutors with fucking retarded questions, and laughing at incredibly, stupendously, terribly, horrifyingly, excruciatingly, painstakingly lame jokes, or are they even? It also happens outside of classes, when we are having lunch, when we are waiting for the camera test, or when we are just doing nothing. Your Majesty is always delighted to train your knuckles, preach to you, and even bombarding you with random questions and comments. Isn't life so awesome to have him around?

Okay, that last paragraph was evil. But does this morally insufficient pocketful of sunshine cares shit? No, he does not. Anyway, let's get Your Majesty out of our concern, and talk about more interesting things in T1A2, like OOVOO! OOVOO is so fun, we can see one another in our sleep-wear, drying our hair with towels, and bitch more about Your Majesty! Good thing I ain't a girl, and my style is pretty different, cos that way, he won't talk to me! Yippee!

So let's just sum up my 4 weeks in Poly. I'm more crude than ever, I'm more bitchy than ever, and I'm happier than ever!

Au revoir!

2009-05-08T00:44:00.000-07:00

Currently at the Art and Design classroom. I know, of all the times to blog, I had to do it now. Whatever, I am just feeling bored. Wanna get something to eat, but no one is eating with me! T.T Just realized no one has tagged my tagboard since like a month ago.

Okay, gonna go Facebook now. Bye.

2009-05-02T02:32:00.001-07:00

I know, I haven't blogged for a very long time. Whatever, I have no time to maintain this blog anyway. Will have regular updates once the term break starts.

Just realized how sucky Poly holidays are. So much different from last time. SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DROP-OUT WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!

This is gonna be a short post, cos I need to rush my SOCPSYC journal before Week 3 starts. Have to study and prepare lots of stuff this coming week for Week 4 is a pretty hectic week. This reminds me, the script for AUDIOTP is not made into existence yet. Also, I gotta borrow the video camera from the FMS block to check out the controls for the camera test on Week 4.

Yes, I am procrastinating right now. My journal needs to be out by tomorrow. If you actually read the requirements for the journal, you'll definitely be procrastinating right now too. I have to explain and recount and suggest and reflect, in 800-900 words. I don't know whether it is too long or too short. Garh, SOCPSYC could have been oodles of fun if not for the stupid journal.

Why isn't there a course called Fame and Fortune?! I find that being paid to attend a party or club is the best job in the world.

2009-04-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

Feeling guilty about abandoning this new blog for such a long time. But I don't really have the energy, mood and time to blog at this period of time. Every moment is spent on lectures, tutorials, travel, and sleep. I guess the school opening blues are really taking a toll on my mental health.

I guess I'm not quite used to Poly life yet. It is rather nerve-wrecking at times. You can't predict what is going to happen at school. But anyway, besides the sleep-inducing lectures, the travelling is really tedious and troublesome. I've got classes at nine, and I have to wake up at six in the morning just so that I won't be late, especially when there are traffic jams in the morning. Also, the walking around from classrooms to lecture theatres is practically like walking from NCHS to CP. And ironically, I only have one workshop at the FMS building. I have my lectures and tutorials at other places. -.-

I shall temporarily be on a blogging hiatus, until I have adapted myself to Poly life, and have soem free time for myself. See ya!

2009-04-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

Has anyone listened to the music in my old blog? Oh gosh I just realized how much emotion and feeling is can bring to me, it really made me emotional. I know, it is kinda stupid to be teary-eyed over a song, but Nobuo Uematsu does compose legendary music for Final Fantasy. It is not just because they are so catchy in a sophisticated way, but it really brings out the emotions in the game out. Without the music, Final Fantasy would not be as good as everyone thinks it is.

I am so emotional right now, all the things I miss, for the past 3 years, just rushes out and makes me reminisce about them. It really makes me wanna cry, cos no matter how much I try, I would not have cherished it enough. It is not like a game; You save them and you can replay them again and again. We live once, and all these things will only occur once. Even if it does occur again, it would be the same.

I miss 4E(well, most of it.), I miss NPCC, I miss NDP, I miss all the outings, I miss my gaming experiences. We play and we experience the twists, the surprises, the whole game once. The subsequent times you play them, it ain't the same anymore. Kinda sad really, just wish we could somehow take out our memory of them, and we can experience them again. It is all these things that make my life so fulfilling, not the grades and acheivements at all. These things stay with you for life, and you are tempted to relive it again, but you can't. Such suffering and pain, so haunting and yet, a little joyful.

2009-04-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

The pre-school opening blues are really getting to me. I'm left with 2 more days of gaming freedom, but I have no mood to play anything. I wanna spend the last 2 days lying on my bed, doing nothing. I miss my sleep a lot. This whole week, I never got the chance to sleep till the afternoon.

Feeling too tired to make any new friends. Feeling too tired to wake up at 6.30am. Feeling too tired to go for S&W, mainly not cos of laziness but because of self-esteem problems. It is not a good way to start a school term as being labelled 'Fat guy'. In my class, I'm the only fat guy. Garh. Gonna work hard in the module, though it would be difficult.

I'm in T1A2. I think my sleeping problem is still not gone yet. Today was the induction program. There were tons of videos and a bunch of interesting speeches and talks, and I fell asleep right after I finished lunch. This is not good. :x On my way to Hougang, I fell asleep on the bus as well. Oh ya, I bumped my head today 4 times, 3 times in the bus, and 1 time in the car.

The Kaki Fuyong at Makan Place is awesome. And it is cheap too! So many good food to eat! Yay! Subway too!

Pretty scared about the lecturers. They give me a feeling that of both Mr Tien and Ms Betsy Teo. Good thing not one of them are Quek-ish or Lee-ish. Okay I feel so evil. Hope I don't get hounded at or get thrown out of the LTs, like some of the seniors.

Wish me luck!

2009-04-14T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! The skin ain't much, cos I don't have much choices. I'm not much of a music person anyway.

Went to the MacBook OS training today. It was boring. Saw Aaron, Shermaine, Luke, and HuiYu there. Met up with JiaJia and went to get the shirt. Took a cab to Plaza Singapura, planning to get our phones wrapped. But it was so so so expensive for me, cos they can only get my battery cover wrapped. And it's for $29 dollars! Decided not to. Went to Chinatown after that. Met up with Ernest and the rest and had buffet lunch at Dallas Chicken. It was very filling. Skipped dinner. Went to Hougang Mall after that and they got their coloured contacts. Saw JiaHui there too. Took the bus home after that.

Very sleepy now. Bye!