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Tuesday, June 30, 2009 @9:26 AM

I have quite an amount of SOCPSYC shit to mug, but I guess I got the procrastination bug again. Oh well, it's the night, everyone's not studying yet. Will get to it as soon as I'm done blogging.

Actually, I don't really have anything I wanna blog right now. I just got a spontaneous drive to list down my birthday wishlist, so I just decided to blog. Besides that, I can't wait for tomorrow! No, I'm not looking forward to the SOCPSYC quiz, but the SMART CASUAL theme! It is gonna be kick awesome! And a major camwhore session is a must!

Wishlist:
1. Kris Allen "Three Fold Path" T-Shirt.
2. Kris Allen Mug.
3. Bleach my hair blonde.
4. Get a manicure, and apply black nail polish.
5. Checkered tie.
6. Checkered beanie.
7. Checkered shirts from TOPMAN. (Green, Red, and Blue)
8. Checkered cap.
9. Checkered hat.
10. Ice cream cake. (Vanilla, green tea, milk tea, all is fine!)
11. Big big card.
12. Steamboat dinner.

Should be it for now. Bye!

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Monday, June 29, 2009 @4:06 AM

Currently in the editing room, doing nothing. My throat is dry, my nose is blocked, I feel a little woozy, the common cold can't get anymore irritating than this. Waiting for Ryan and ChingYee to come back with my bottle of coke, cos I'm fucking thirsty now. Feels like pebbles blocking my nose now, and I am currently trying to breathe with my mouth, but fuck, it only makes my fucking throat dry. 

CATS was rather useless just now. Spending 1 hour and 45 minutes in a classroom with a weirdo teacher criticizing our idea and at the same time saying it's an awesome idea is just creepy. But at least I got to bitch with the others. Haha.

Aww man there are so many other people in the editing room right now, it is difficult for T1A2 to be free and open, and make ourselves at home. Some people in FMS are just not nice at all, unlike us T1A2.

Gonna go to the toilet. Till then bitches! 

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Friday, June 26, 2009 @8:34 AM

Don't mind the fat guy.         


Not a natural blonde, but Luke Worrall just pulls off the look with such kick awesomeness! Oh my god why can't I pull it off like him? Not fair, but he looks damn fucking cool! Oh wait, he's a model, figures. Haha. And with that hat, oh my gosh kick awesomely cool! Kick awesome!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009 @7:56 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY


RACHEL ATROUS VALO


CYRUS!!!


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Saturday, June 20, 2009 @8:15 AM

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The time's kinda screwed up, but whatever! Oh my gosh KRIS ALLEN this is your number one fan from Singapore! I SO TOTALLY WISH THAT YOU WOULD GRACE MICRO-SIZED SINGAPORE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Friday, June 19, 2009 @9:19 AM

Oh my gosh, 23 hours and 37 minutes to Kris Allen's 24th birthday! 23 hours and 36 minutes!

Just realized how difficult it is to blog with the MacBook. The laptop is burning hot below, I can cook an egg there. Anyway, I'm rather sleepy now, and I gotta go to the bank in the morning to create an account, or something like that. I will try to make this post quick.

Met up with MJ, Pearl and Jolyn today at Mac's. Had breakfast, and Olivia came a while later. Walked to school, with my stomach kinda rumbling a bit, with Olivia worked up over being tardy. So not used to being uptight nowadays. Haha. Been out of a CCA for far too long, say one year? Anyway, we were late for ten minutes, and turns out, it hasn't started. Met up with Kim and JiaJia. Haven't seen some people for so long... not that I want to though.

The meeting was all about the upcoming Homecoming Fiesta and Prom Night. THANK GOD THEY CHANGED THE PROM DATE! I had a great 'chat' th
ere, and we left for CP. They had lunch, and I left halfway to head to AMK.

The bus trip was an hour long, which meant that I slept for an hour. Felt refreshes after the bus trip. Saw Rachel all alone at Mac's, DAMN SCARY! Good thing she cracked a smile when she saw me, or else I would have been creeped out. Matthew was there too. Got myself a double cheeseburger, the second one in my entire life! We were supposed to commence our SOCPSYC take-home tutorial, but we ended chatting instead cos half of our group was late. Amanda was at school, and Azmyra couldn't leave the house. Talked for hours, and we finally left to do some shopping. Bought myself a bumper sticker! "Don't fuck with me... I fuck back!" Saw a kick awesome carplate, which said, "Hollywood Blvd." So kick awesome! Anyway, it was $25, so I couldn't buy it. Alfian and Amanda came, and we went to LJS. After LJS, we walked back to AMK Hub. They decided to watch "Drag Me To Hell", without me, even after I begged them for SO LONG, as I have to have dinner with my family. Then the rest of the day... garh it was boring.

Feeling darn tired now. Oh, here's a photo of NVP2's fun group!



Such a kick awesome photo! 

Kinda feeling out of touch with the English language. Feeling pretty rusty. Can't stand the fact that I have practically forgotten every single word in my vocabulary bank, which is pretty much non-existent now. Garh, I need to brush up on my English.

Feel like making my blog private. Getting fucking sick and tired of having people take the piss outta me cos of my blog posts. You know what? Even if I don't write about it, IT'S STILL IN MY BRAIN! 

Shut-eye now. Tata!

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @9:26 PM

I need to fucking move on with my life. Fuck. Nuts and T1A2 should be my top priority right now, not that bunch of people who so fucking backstabbed me behind my back. Seriously cunts, it was all a misunderstanding, and I'm not being petty. I never thought it was my fault though, because all I was doing was trying to be myself, not a blood-sucking attention seeker.

Looking forward to the chalet, and Thursday's chat session. Need to catch up with the Nut. It will be lying if I said we haven't drifted apart a little. Well, at least we are smart to know that we should aim for our desired career, not some people who put friends on their top priority. At least we know we would be successful and rich enough to own their sorry arses, well me at least.

I have to work a lot harder if I wanna do the following:

1) Interview Kris Allen, shake his hand, give him a hug, get his autograph, and take a picture with him. (Fangirling here)

2) Interview Lily Allen, shake her hand, give her a hug, get her autograph, take a picture with her, and booze with her. (Fanboying here)

3) Be a fucking celebrity so that all humans wanna take a picture with me.

4) Get a professional name, Nigel Allen, for an acting career, or maybe an SNL alum.

5) Get a chance to meet Oprah so I can beg her to give me a talk show.

6) Show the finger on TV to show great disrespect to all the people I despise. You people know who you are.

7) Be on The Ellen Degeneres Show.

8) Swear on TV to everyone I despise.

9) I don't know, continue mocking everyone I despise.

Crap I'm gonna be late. Heading to Bugis now. Bye!

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@5:51 AM

Can being Nigel get any worse? It is worse enough that I feel insecure by my weight, and I'm trying really hard not to show that, but NOOOOO, I had to have Asian relatives to fucking rub it in my fucking face! Fucking hell! I know, I'm not fucking doing anything about it, but that does not concern anyone! ANYONE! My weight is not gonna pull down the Earth! Fucking hell! Stop criticising about my weight! If you think reverse psychology is gonna work, NO IT WON'T! Fuck. And no, I SO DO NOT WANT YOUR CONCERN! And if you do care, DON'T! I don't make fun of anyone I'm related to, so stop insulting my size, cos it ain't funny!

Oh, my apologies to T1A2. My parents (and my aunt) just objected to you guys coming over to my place. You guys know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING AFRAID OF YOU GUYS FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW DIRTY MY HOUSE IS, BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE OLDER AND ARE JUDGMENTAL AND CRITICAL. OH NOOOOOOOOO, it is so FAIR that my brother can bring over his friends over without asking and still get away with it after the gazillionth time, and it is okay for my cousins to bring their friends over to their place. Oh wait, I just remembered, THEY ARE IN ALL IN THEIR TWENTIES! Everything is so impartial isn't it?! ISN'T IT?!?! FUCK WHAT DID I DO TO FUCKING DESERVE THIS?! If I get a penny for every time I get unfairly treated at home, I WOULD BE FUCKING DONALD TRUMP!

FUCKING HELL!

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Monday, June 15, 2009 @11:19 AM

Currently listening to a radio convo with Kris Allen. OMGOSH he said he hopes his album comes out by November. Wouldn't it be just kick awesome if it officially came out on November 19?! OMGOSH I need to calm down now. Anyway, this is gonna be one long post. And to end my post is the best thing that can happen to me right now.

Okay where do I start? Hmm, oh yes. I stayed over at Ryan's place for 3 days and 2 nights. It was pretty fun overall. Lame comments from Matthew, Sasha's boxers for all to see, the couple making out, Tasha's big tummy, it was all fun. Thanks Ryan for letting us cramp at your hood, yo! (Failed attempt at trying to be black.) 

Day1:

Went to school for AUDTP tutorial, which was not tutorial-ish at all. I ended up finishing my storyboard, and answered a question on the mixer. I was surprised I managed to get it right. Chose the brand of mixer I wanted: Allen&Heath. Went to the back of the class and slept for an hour. Chatted and waited for a few people to finish up their storyboards, and we left to hand them in. And because of SOMEONE, we submitted ours late. Fuck. After that, we went to get our equipment, and Rachel and I went to have lunch. 

Left for Tampines One with Rachel, Amanda, and Ryan&Jiayi. Got myself a grey vest and a cute shirt. Went to TopShop, but everything was fucking expensive there, so we left for Far East Plaza for dinner. Went to Ryan's place after that. Chatted, and slept.

Day 2: 

Woke up really late and had breakfast. Took a shower, and did the storyboard. Slept while the rest watched Gattaca. Slacked till the night, and had dinner. Pizza! After that we went to print out our photos for the storyboard. Bought a McFlurry, and went back to Ryan's place. Lena came, we had to fetch "Josephine" shortly after. Bought our late-night supper (Wanton and noodles. Haha!), and went downstairs to watch TV. Royston, ChingYee, Alfian, and Azmyra arrived a while later, and we went out to the swing and started to bitch. Went back to the house, and slept after a healthy round of listening to Kris Allen's Heartless. Slept at 5am.

Day 3: 

Lena woke me up at around 7-ish, and I realized I had a towel on me to keep me warm. Was damn fucking sleepy. Had Mac for breakfast, and went back to sleep for a little while more. Woke up, and realized shooting had already begun. Took me a while to get together, and shooting officially began. I was the camera operator, and assistant director. As the camera operator, I had to fill in the field-log. Filming at Ryan's place took a little longer than we expected, but it was all fun, especially the slapping scenes. Had lunch, and set off for school. Left Lena and Matthew to take the cab alone was genius, though we forgotten about the money issue. Haha.

Filming continued outside the equipment room, and I fell asleep on the floor with the field-log in my hands, luckily I dozed off when it was in the midst of some creative issues. Went up to the office to continue shooting. As it got darker, it got fucking scarier. Wrapped up as fast as we could. When we went to get our bags, the sky was already pitch black, and we could hardly see anything. It was so funny with Azmyra around, especially when we were in the lift. As the lift door slowly opened on the first floor to reveal a dark place, she yelled an "OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!" which was so fucking priceless. It is making me laugh as I type. We ran out of the lift, laughing hysterically. Later, we waited at the parking lot for the other group to arrive, and I fell asleep on the floor again. Azmyra tried to sit down and she split her skirt! It was fucking hilarious! Waited for eons and they finally came. Had dinner at Al-Azhar and went home. 

My sleeping problem is really getting on my nerves. I really cannot help it. When my body gets tired, my brain goes on an automatic sleep mode. Caffeine can't really help, even thinking about my favourite people won't keep me awake. Life sucks being a fucking pig, even though no one made me this way.

Oh my gosh, I only finished a small portion of this post. 

After 2 nights out, I can finally feel my bed! Oh my god my bed is so unharpy that I abandoned him for 2 days, he gave me a fucking backache today. It was so painful, I couldn't get off the bed. Missed my chance to be an extra today. Met the group at Bugis instead, and went shopping. Couldn't resist the hat and tie obsession, and ended spending $35 for a hat and 2 ties. No money already. Went to Iluma's Thai Express for dessert. The coconut milk made me feel sick for a while, and I tried to get rid of the nausea with water, but it ended up making me feel bloated and nauseated. Went to Lena's place after that, and had pizza! Thanks Lena and family!

Time for some psychobabble. As time flies, I get older and more matured physically. I don't know why, but I'm still 15 years old inside. I know I'm supposed to be thinking more maturely, but I'm not. It has nothing to do with how I should be treating people, it's more of how I treat myself. I am still acting like everyone's obnoxious baby brother, and I don't like it, but I don't know how I should stop it. Whatever, I am not supposed to care right now. Besides that, I feel lonelier, and lonelier each passing day. I think a few people know why, but everyone felt this way before I guess. I wonder when is the day I get attached, now that my best friend is in America. I need someone who knows me well. Identity crisis issues never hit me before, but know it has crushed me like a bombshell. I need to be someone unique. I must not be someone ordinary, which I am slowly becoming. I need something I can call my own, and need it to be kick awesome. Or else, I would be innocent and run-of-the-mill, something I never thought I would become.

Bad things aside, and let my finish up this post. I just found out something, and it's the best thing that can happen to me now. *Drum roll.*

I CAN BUY KRIS ALLEN MERCHANDISE IN SINGAPORE! 

*Fireworks, marching bands, parade!* Gasp! Just found out this awesome site that can let me order online and they can ship it here! So kick awesome! Life in Singapore suddenly turned a lot brighter for me! The entertainment industry in Singapore is so lagged, but this really helped! Will try to get EVERYTHING that is up for sale. That would mean starving school days and a shopping hiatus. I NEED THOSE MERCHANDISE! Here's the link for those who are interested (LIKE WHO AIN'T?!): 

Kris Allen Fan Shop!

It's getting late now, really late. TTFN!

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Sunday, June 14, 2009 @11:05 AM

I was planning to post a long post today, but I started lying on my bed and now I'm practically half-asleep. So I am just gonna list the things I need to blog about tomorrow.

1) Staying over at Ryan's place.

2) NVP2.

3) My perpetual sleeping problem.

4) Why I'm so unhappy now.

5) Food seem so unappetizing recently.

6) My bed is my true love.

7) Holidays are here!

Okay, gonna go sleep now. Bye!

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Saturday, June 13, 2009 @1:37 PM

I got like 12% percent of battery power right now. Need to get this post up quick.

Currently at Ryan's place, sleeping soon. Shooting later. The air-con is getting cold now. Friends are drunk. Need to be a good camera assistant, and assistant director. Need to keep in good terms with actors. Need to stop thinking about Kris Allen. Need to stop ogling at the photo. Talking in fragment-ish sentences. Oh my gosh it is near 5am.

Okay, I got to go. Bye!

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Tuesday, June 9, 2009 @9:59 AM

Currently staring at the computer, reflecting on what I have done today.

Well, one thing's for sure, I can't keep my own secret! Oh my fucking god almost everyone knows about it already. Garh fucking hell I am so dead. Just when you think the Bitch Club can't find anything significant to bitch about me, they do! Fuck! Why did I even play truth or Dare just now?! Fuck! Totally regretted it. Note to self: Truth or Dare is no longer fun for Nigel.

My neck and back is aching like fuck, again. Totally ruins my mood. But after Perez, I feel so much better. Check out what Adam Lambert said to the cover of Rolling Stones magazine.

"I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear I'm gay," American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert tells the new issue of Rolling Stone. "I've been living in Los Angeles for eight years as a gay man. I've been at clubs drunk making out with somebody in the corner."

Lambert says he decided to wait to come out in Rolling Stone because it would be "cooler."
He explains, "Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler.' I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context. I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me."

According to Rolling Stone, Adam was open about his sexuality backstage at Idol. Lambert admits that he was nervous about coming out while Idol was still on the air because contestants are under a media embargo, preventing them from talking to reporters, and he wanted to do it on his "own terms." (He also says producers were open to him handling it however he wanted to.)

"I was worried that [coming out] would be so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing," Lambert tells the mag. "I'm an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing. it shouldn't matter. Except it does. It's really confusing."

Lambert says he was inspired to audition for the Fox network singing competition after having a "psychedelic experience" at the Burning Man festival in Nevada. There, he says, he experimented with "certain funguses."

"I knew that it was my only shot to be taken seriously in the recording industry, because it's fast and broad," he says of Idol.

Despite being gay, Glambert says he enjoys attention from the ladies too. "I loved it this season when the girls went crazy for me," he says. "As far as I'm concerned, it's all hot."
Plus, Adam reveals to Rolling Stone that he had a crush on Idol winner Kris Allen during the show!

When Idol producers put him in a room to share with Allen, Lambert says his first thought was, "They put me with the cute guy. Distracting! He's the one guy I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type — except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight."

Glambert also talks about the many photos of him dressed in drag and making out with boys that leaked on the Internets. He says that he forgot to remove photos from his profile on a social network for the Burning Man festival in Nevada. "Wasn't ready for that," he says. "I've only dressed in drag three or four times. … I don't tuck and wear breasts, that's not me." Lambert proclaims that he supports the gay-rights movement but doesn't want to be really involved. Mkay. "I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader," he says.

Stereotypes about gays do annoy Adam. "Clay Aiken's gay, and I'm gay, and we couldn't be more different. The only thing that is the same about everyone in the gay community is that we're gay. … Why can't we talk about a human community?"

In addition to his homosexuality, Lambert shares other personal details with Rolling Stone.
At 21, he was in a European tour of Hair for six months. That was when he dyed his hair black. In Germany, he started smoking pot and tried Ecstasy. But he does have limits. Among his dislikes: cocaine.

"That drug is such a reflection of the lack of self-esteem and control people have over themselves and their lives," he says.

Lambert credits the FOX reality show with helping him gain self confidence.

"I finally checked into my self-worth for the first time in my life, and the fact that it coincided with Idol is so sweet," he says. "I mean, I still have moments where I think, 'Oh, my skin is terrible, and I'm a little fat — I should really go to the gym more.' But for the most part, when I look in the mirror now, I finally see somebody who can do something cool."


So fucking cool! See the bolded paragraph?

I'm gonna go use my MacBook, facebook for a while, and then sleep or something. Good luck T1A2, or most of us at least. I SO DO NOT DESERVE A FUCKING "F" FOR FUCKING SOCPSYC!

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Saturday, June 6, 2009 @1:31 PM

Currently at Ryan's place right now, trying to find a comfy spot to sleep, but the hard floor is really uncomfortable especially after you had alcohol. Having a headache right now.

Pretty full right now but my mouth is itching for something to eat. In the mood for steamboat and/or barbeque, or satay would be fine. Oh gosh, emotional eating is acting up again. Must restrain one's self. I shall not let food control me, I must control food! "Rise food rise! Attack food attack!"

Oh, and my pants just got a big big hole just now while we were playing at the playground. Damn big hole, but I don't feel embarrassed at all with T1A2. Like, Sasha is in his boxers right now, so why should I be any more shy?

Dinner was awesome today, man, seriously. Linguine, potato gratin, and little cocktail sausages ( that makes you think dirty for a moment), damn nice, man, seriously. Okay, I feel so guilty now, haha. Had a MacSpicy meal just now too. Online-fed Rachel some fries. The sweet-and-sour sauce made me wanna drink some sour-and-spicy soup. Coke with a little vodka just doesn't work out; I can't taste coke the same way again, man.

Conversation with Alfian, Matthew, Royston and Sasha is getting interesting now. Bye!

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Friday, June 5, 2009 @11:48 AM

Been in a bad mood these past two weeks. I can't sustain that pissed expression in me, don't know why. Feeling so alone, pissed off, and disturbed at the same time, words can't describe how fucked up I feel.

I need people who should leave me alone to leave me alone, and people who should give a fuck about me to give a fuck about me. It has always been a problem since ever, whereby the wrong people keep on preaching to me, and the people who should care do not. By now, people who know who should know that I live by my own rules. My way of living isn't bad, not that it is really good, but at least I am satisfied. If I can't satisfy myself, I shouldn't care fuck about what other people expect of me. So what if I'm the older one in the family? So what if I should be more responsible? I don't care fuck about what people think I should be. Everyone thinks it is so easy to live my life, they think it is so sloppy, so lazy, but it is so not. I have my own problems, and these I can never ever resolve myself. But you know what? No one knows me enough to help me. I may be open and all, but still my problems are a lot more complicated than Einstein can imagine. It is just me against the world, no one by my side.

Trying to be who I am is getting so difficult nowadays, which is so ironic now that I am studying in a polytechnic. I am supposed to given the independence to manage my own life, and choose who I want to become. But no, some people just find it so so so painful to let me decide on my own. I want to live my life in technicolor, not in fucking black and white. If I can't live the way I wanna live, living is of no point in the first place already.

Paranoia setting in, again. I know I know, it is inevitable, especially for someone like me. If anyone out there doesn't like me or anything, please do not try to be nice to me, or try to pretend to be friendly. It hurts a lot more than just bitchslapping into my fucking face. Being a tad too oversensitive at times, I do notice what the way people communicate with me. So, if anyone out there find me too much of a controversy to be a friend, then don't be. I ain't forcnig you anyway. I don't want to live my days not knowing that one of my friends is backstabbing me the whole time. If my actions or words have hurt you or whatever, please do not feel insulted, and you can stop pretending to be my friend. It is fucked up, a lot more fucked up than my actions. I am not gonna change just because of someone who isn't gonna make a large impact in my life, and end up being someone I hate to be. So if you hate me, loathe me, or depise me, just fucking stop the pretence, cos it is cheap and cowardly.

I feel so fucking pissed off, but no one can really understand, no one. This is so fucked up, sometimes life just ain't fucking worth it. Life is a bitch, a fucking bitch.

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Monday, June 1, 2009 @10:26 AM

Random post before I go to bed. It is 1.24am now, which means I will be able to stay awake for tomorrow's lecture.

Just wanna say a few things, you know, to make a point or whatever. To make it easier for me, I shall write in point form, cos I'm so tired I don't have the patience to string words together properly to form proper sentences. Wow look at the time!

1) Congratulations to "This feels so right" and "It felt so right"! Oh my gosh we so need another Truth session to get the scoop and dirt on y'all. Oh, and you guys need to invite me to your wedding, and your consecutive anniversaries, because y'all an ANGEL to bless you guys, not that I am totally into this love thing. I totally have a feeling the both of you wanna bitchslap me all over after reading this.

2) I can only dye my hair blonde when I turn 21. Like WHAT THE FUCK? I'm like 17 already, and I still can't choose the hair colour I want. Oh my gosh my mood just turned gloomy just thinking thinking about it. Oh my fucking god I need cool parents, or at least brainwash my OLD parents who still think it's the 1st century! I totally understand that they have a deprived childhood, but don't need to take it out on their own son. If I ever have children I will demand them to dye his hair at least twice. What the fuck did I do in my previous life to deserve such old, boring, old, overly conservative, old, petty and fucking OLD parents. Oh my gosh I hate my life as a teenager, because I have fucking old old old old and old parents!

3) I bought the Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging DVD! Yay! Now I can finally get people to watch with me for the 4th, 5th, 6th,... 100th time! I am so totally seduced by the Bri'ish accent in the movie. Inspired me to stay in London till I fully adopt the accent.

4) Tomorrow is Tuesday, which spells FUCK. Tuesdays are so fucking horrible, I feel as though I aged a decade after the day is over.

5) There was abs training today, again. Expecting cramps and bouts of excruciating pain for the next week.

6) I will not be having CATS and S&W for the next three weeks. Life would be so awesome for the next 3 weeks. Whooo!

7) I am constantly thirsty. I think it's gotta do with daibetes or something. If I really do have diabetes, PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME ASAP!

8) I bought a new beanie! My fetish for hats ain't over yet! It's white!

Gonna go sleep now. Toodles!

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Bite me!

That Guy.

My name is Nigel, and I'm a very very very nice person.

T1A2

Amanda/Christen
Azmyra
ChingYee
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Ryan

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Obsessions

Dissidia Final Fantasy
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Kingdom Hearts Re:CoM
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Square Enix Official Site
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image : threadless
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